Tiffany Believes in Miracles

“Tiffany Believes InMiracles” by Esmond Ng 17/07/12 © Copyright

Tiffany Choo Yong Li (04/09/1987 – 13/07/2012)

You’re gone, yet you’re here,
You’ve left, yet in our lives inhabit.
Beautiful times they abide in our hearts,
Etched sorely in each every mind.

Love a word too faint describe,
All your friends of you surely none’d deny.
Fixedly you brought smiles and joy,
Typed boldly in our pages of life.

I’m sure I for many say this,
That I should have spent a bit, just a bit more time.
To catch up over coffee,
To have caught you in your prime.

Your luster flamed away fleetly,
The candle jealous’d of your shine.
But you lit up all of our nights,
And shone’d brightly in our darkest times.

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Henry Ng (08/08/1947 – 03/04/2012)

Dad and I

Dad and I

“Henry Ng” by Esmond Ng 24/05/2016 © Copyright

We had a few scares quite before this,
Nurses call’d to quick, come him see quick.
The alert, this time, follows through,
His breath last, my Dad into Heaven pass’d.

I thought prepar’d was I was,
For he’d defi’d death 3 years elong.
When all had predict’d life of year half in him,
What more, how longer much could we have entreat?

But I was wrong.
Whether foreknown or abrupt it comes,
Nothing prepares you for a kin’s repose,
Nothing gets you ready for your blood’s loss.

I didn’t cry; not then.
I told myself a relationship we hadn’t had.
Maybe he was never there, or maybe Love I had never felt,
Maybe it was something I had conjur’d, had made up.

But he was there when I was born,
Beaming ear to other, holding me in his arms.
He was there when took I my steps first,
And words utter’d in such random firsts.

He held me up to God at the Baptism service,
He’d probably too was first, to for me tears shed.
He was there to help with all my childhood cake candles,
And he was there when mom came cane-charging choler.

Dad was there, how not manag’d to see I it?
Heck, he was there at my first dental visit!
He was the first to put a hanky in my pocket, something which I still do carry,
He had even taught me to ride my red bicycle at our very first picnic.

You should have seen him when topp’d I my class,
Or when he boast’d to others my horrid guitar strums.
All would know if I did anything well, relatives and neighbors,
Why didn’t I make him more proud, just a little more proud?

When I bought my bike verboten, he shook his head and got me a car,
When I bump’d it, he never once accomplish’d a single sound.
He sav’d on everything but not on me did,
Flight’d me away to Aussie for studies, Crikey! Indeed.

Even when we fought and shout’d at other each,
Nothing ever stay’d sour’d for very long.
He provid’d and gave but never asked for return anything,
He gave me his Love, how could I not have notic’d?

We did a number of things together, together,
From karaoke to washing the car to hitting the gym strong.
How did we end up like this, distanc’d and dissociat’d?
Why hadn’t I, had not effort put in enough?

Retrospect, surely our relationship, not estrang’d,
I seem mistaken, he was there no doubting it.
His actions ensu’d no reason other but Love,
Least I forget, Dad was Dad all along.

I bet there’s way more he did than I can here in speech,
And now he’s gone, I cried eventually, what good is it?
Perhaps in another decade half him I’ll again see,
Perhaps then we could redo what we’d miss’d.

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Thinking of You

“In-between those hustles in Life, I sometimes afford a snap of idle rumination, where things around me would slow, gradually, to a crawl, and just before anchoring to that irreversible still, I see. I see clearly what has passed, as if it were flashing in front of the now moored inactivity. Not I one who perfect-bethinks of my battered past, but more of an inability to remove myself from my aggrieved. When only in such allayed mood would I lose control and regret that breather of initially. What have I done or did not possibly? That time actually kills me, ironically, muffled from its chase, however impossible by this inasmuch logic. It is in such that while quietly wasting away, I think of you. That my disconnecting moments, they belong to you. And I realize, not least bewildered, that it is all I do these days. Then I wait. I wait for time to flinch again.”
~ © Esmond Ng 22/12/11

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Similitudes Dans La Vie

“Similitudes Dans La Vie” by Esmond Ng 11/07/11 © Copyright

I dithered entire the week,
On how the weekend’s play would play.
For it’s been years since we lipped last,
Of the things we both same’d.

I dreamt a dream of you thrice,
I glimpsed a glimpse of the day next.
Was I really so aflutter of it all,
Or did I for this longed too elongate?

It finally came; awed I remain,
On circumstances, on how we can still relate.
Some things will remain some things,
And some friends we’ll surely see again.

Over food we did masticate,
By the waters we did exchange.
Charmed, the way connected we,
Seems not like time estranged.

The twists and turns we together saw,
The night’s song a little short we complained.
Our chariot was lengthy the wait,
But a little longer I secretly wished away.

No matter multiday had things some changed,
No matter how we both aged grace.
But for all it seemed on Saturday,
It seemed we stilled in ways we stayed.

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You Still You? A Coffee Sometime?

“You Still You? A Coffee Sometime?” by Esmond Ng 24/02/11 © Copyright

Just on Monday I was reminded,
For a storey away close; Of you.
Just Today in chat my friend and I of,
Memories fond; our once’d treasured, Loved.

Today totally caught me off guard unexpected,
This Wednesday of news bad but in night appeared,
After Time had sailed you far along that River of Life,
Never thought I again would that memory in Real’s light.

You know you look the same no different from first,
When first I with at Harbor’s Front with you.
You look exactly how I remembered countless of times,
When we first dotted those stars on our only starred sky.

Perhaps a little weathered but still you,
Cherry-lipped and fair maiden’d skin I had in 05 described.
Perhaps a little jaded but still you to I,
Sunny eyed which warmed my chilled barefooted beach night.

And if you be reading this on this night I write,
Kid not I myself but still u and I same mind’d.
For those lavender moments we held close to mind,
A friend, could I ask for perhaps a coffee again sometime?

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Tired and Busy

“Tired and Busy” by Esmond Ng 23/01/11 © Copyright

You’re tired yet you go for your draining games,
You’re tired yet you wine away before your next early workday.
You’re busy yet you with friends have time for travel & merry,
You’re busy yet your actions oft tell a different story.
I understand fully yet I cannot help feeling dismayed,
That while you’re tired you have energy left but not for me,
That while you’re busy you have time for all others but not meet me,
I comprehend fully that you wish when the above you do makes you happy,
But if I were you I’ll give everything just to next to you be.

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Again

“Again” by Esmond Ng 28/07/10 © Copyright

Another year briskly it’s time again,
How age catches outruns our each day.
On not how each candle adds to date,
But on our virgin meet 27 shinings away.

5 and 2 months; resemblance to yesterday,
Though blink of eye, yours vividly remain.
I wonder if the flowers its’ scent will one day,
Be erased; forgotten, our Time in some place.

Know not when this silence of summer’s night fade,
My memories they bring me to that very first fate.
And before Time its habit to slip away,
This year once again, wishings; a Happy Birthday.

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In Memory

In Loving Memory of Stephanie Tan Lai Chan (23/01/89 – 01/01/10)

“In Memory” by Esmond Ng 02/01/10 © Copyright

I would see you almost every other day,
But yet you, I’d not know beyond your name.
Too few hellos and goodbyes we’d have,
Time too haste, too fast to chase.

We shared too, too little exchanges;
Of hearty smiles and laughter candor.
Of our ups and downs, and cheer and fears.
Fair in times like these never, know not I will ever.

I’d never know how your demeanor,
Of what your friends about you say.
How you’d react to the funny things, I have yet no chance to say.
Know not I will ever, this friend I have yet to truly make.

For our God has chosen for you,
To His bosom side to stay.
And though we’ll all miss you in our each own ways,
We’d like you to know, you were not in vain.

For your memories and image they live on,
In those whom sighted you as you blazed along.
Like a comet gone too soon,
We’ll reminisce till we’re blazed out too.

In three weeks 21 you’d be,
“Happy Birthday, Steph!” to you from me.
A final teary “Goodbye” for now it seems,
Hearts, your family, friends and me.

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Kelly’s Garden

“Kelly’s Garden” by Esmond Ng 18/11/09 © copyright

One of palettes and scents aplenty,
With breaths of each become more compelling.
That this Garden which so seemingly unassuming,
Is really worth one’s time in revisits.

Once on the hills with stalks petaled in,
Against the vast ground of evergreens,
Contrasts that accentuates your lovely lovelies,
Awed stand I when you I chanced to meet.

For under the sky blues and puffs of white,
There they sit demure and so very poised.
And when in gentle winds they brush across,
Their leaves like hair flows just like yours.

Those to the Garden will sight what I see,
Surely those I describe convert too to attest it.
With each picture my lit eyes are color-blushed,
Long I to Kelly’s Garden again fast.

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I Pray

“I Pray” by Esmond Ng 12/08/09 © copyright

I pray for abounding things,
Of most many yen the same.
Unvarnished to ornamented they be,
How fervently amaranthine we seek.

I pray for prime and clean bill,
To forward my trade pursuits.
From which treasure riches return,
All worldly possessions we yearn.

I pray for Love innocent and true,
The meeting of Hearts to hold to.
I pray this turn finally be mine,
This time to find my Valentine.

But all of these I had asked lavish,
I pray equally take from me; banish.
For give rather I in place of these,
That You in replace will all above receive.

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Happy Birthday!

“Happy Birthday!” by Esmond Ng 28/07/09 © Copyright

Have a blast; some merriment this day.
Joyful gaiety due none can take away.
And to you all festives will surely give way,
For it be for you that these galas grace.

Though these words replace not how much I have to say,
You of all will know what needn’t be displayed.
It is in times like these when I distanced, I pray:
Longstanding wishes & Happy Birthday!

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Time in Some Place

“Time in Some Place” by Esmond Ng 11/03/09 © Copyright

Miraculous it may seem,
Fate works its ways in us beings.
For never did I imagine could be,
What I seek’d in front of me.

Once I hanker’d and once I did receive,
Paints of memories and etch’d it did.
An innocent Romeo & Juliet story,
Coincidences in most everything.

Like the end of tragic Love stories,
Too ours perhaps guileless and naïve.
But these flowers its’ scent can’t be erased,
Even long after they’re gone we had our Time in some place.

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Silver Linings

“Silver Linings” by Esmond Ng 11/03/09 © Copyright

Remember I the times sore,
Stricken; afflicted and wretched.
Besetment assail’d from above,
Like the bottomward that downpour’d.

There sat I at sixes and sevens,
Dazed at what just befell.
For at the bridge knew not I,
What wrong I did nor neither fate might.

How did such beauty and perfection cease?
Why my imaginary cloud shapes no longer pleased?
For the bright blessed day of just 5 minutes,
Now overcast acerbity.

Though things may sometimes I never know,
Left unsolved it may best be so.
Memories more precious for there in Heart stays,
But storms will eventually dissipate.

With time I sat the more I knew,
Darkest clouds too come and go.
Silver linings are there always,
When storms pass there they glow.

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The Lead Box

“The Lead Box” by Esmond Ng 08/01/09 © Copyright

Choices not apparent the always,
Deceivable most times the case,
If be uninvolved so snap smooth the first place,
Then what of choice would be it in dawning preface?

How we then make verdict of it all?
Consensus concord a volition pray.
For some in haste and foolhardy made,
Regrettable woeful will afflict its place.

Bassanio too was worriment engaged,
For dependent was Portia on his take.
Should gold, silver or lead be his box picked?
Should he cull a coward pick?

As stairs of sand they wear upon their chins,
The beard of Hercules and all their fancy things.
But inward with their milk’d white livers,
So too the precious metal boxes contain.

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My Bubu Dream

“My Bubu Dream” by Esmond Ng copyright © 11/08/06

Sugary most not definitely,
Taste if sweetened bifold still lacking.
Why Time still bitter bids me chimera,
When all in alpha was such heavenly.

What more a man can be?
When in dreams his stance airs not his belief.
In reverie when vagary permits,
He chooses silence yet to speak.

They say dreams best for utopian schemes,
Where you are master of all it.
Then why not did I stage a better hit,
Why chose I a tragic love misfit?

I comfort though in succor of relief,
That Thee I glimpsed in beaming bliss.
For this I may never awaken see,
If not my lucid Bubu dream.

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Purple Butterfly

“Purple Butterfly” by Esmond Ng © copyright 04/11/05

Purple prose the butterfly,
On flower top did it’s beauty shine.
Slender it’s body yet big,
Its wings of colors in social settings.

So attractive yet exclusive it be,
That all attention should flock around Thee.
For ornate and ever so pretty,
In mind though ago last I long time meet.

Purple in all ancient royalty,
My princess found I in Thee.
That all my world like the flower I be,
Should await your florid setting upon me.

Same feeling in abdomen I get,
Butterflies when you my eyes set.
For it be my heart beats uncontrollably,
When purple prose the butterfly I see.

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