My Pseudo Lover

“My Pseudo Lover” by Esmond Ng 30/08/12 © Copyright

We met, the unlikeliest of places in,
Over periwinkles and happily ever-afters.
You laughed initially, at the girl of dreams my,
But soon you saw, what really meant I.

We coupled, our fixations shared,
Remote and absurd but our inhibitions bared.
You suggested we chat and did we,
A bee to flower it soon daily be.

We dreamt of each other funny,
For never met had we.
And we heard each other’s soul acutely,
Though our voices, too had not we.

I became your morning addiction,
And you, I didn’t make known, became mine.
I wrote you poems and messages sweet,
Some that made you tingled, multiply.

We made Love, cuddled and caressed,
Through our thoughts and words unclad.
We made Love on our minds’ ends,
The longings we couldn’t repress.

I had thought we should have next stepped,
I had thought we both were ready.
But guesses me over Sunday no not maybe,
That sure, my Pseudo Lover isn’t yet she.

Now she distanced seems,
My fault, I keep blaming me.
Why the haste so,
Why stupidly did I do, what did me.

She dilemmas over us,
And rightly so should she.
As in her mind reruns our memories,
So I too, her pinky promises to me.

Rereading our writings umpteenly,
Unknowingly attached have become me.
And all this while I tried to steal pieces of your heart,
You had already taken mine completely.

Share

Henry Ng (08/08/1947 – 03/04/2012)

Dad and I

Dad and I

“Henry Ng” by Esmond Ng 24/05/2016 © Copyright

We had a few scares quite before this,
Nurses call’d to quick, come him see quick.
The alert, this time, follows through,
His breath last, my Dad into Heaven pass’d.

I thought prepar’d was I was,
For he’d defi’d death 3 years elong.
When all had predict’d life of year half in him,
What more, how longer much could we have entreat?

But I was wrong.
Whether foreknown or abrupt it comes,
Nothing prepares you for a kin’s repose,
Nothing gets you ready for your blood’s loss.

I didn’t cry; not then.
I told myself a relationship we hadn’t had.
Maybe he was never there, or maybe Love I had never felt,
Maybe it was something I had conjur’d, had made up.

But he was there when I was born,
Beaming ear to other, holding me in his arms.
He was there when took I my steps first,
And words utter’d in such random firsts.

He held me up to God at the Baptism service,
He’d probably too was first, to for me tears shed.
He was there to help with all my childhood cake candles,
And he was there when mom came cane-charging choler.

Dad was there, how not manag’d to see I it?
Heck, he was there at my first dental visit!
He was the first to put a hanky in my pocket, something which I still do carry,
He had even taught me to ride my red bicycle at our very first picnic.

You should have seen him when topp’d I my class,
Or when he boast’d to others my horrid guitar strums.
All would know if I did anything well, relatives and neighbors,
Why didn’t I make him more proud, just a little more proud?

When I bought my bike verboten, he shook his head and got me a car,
When I bump’d it, he never once accomplish’d a single sound.
He sav’d on everything but not on me did,
Flight’d me away to Aussie for studies, Crikey! Indeed.

Even when we fought and shout’d at other each,
Nothing ever stay’d sour’d for very long.
He provid’d and gave but never asked for return anything,
He gave me his Love, how could I not have notic’d?

We did a number of things together, together,
From karaoke to washing the car to hitting the gym strong.
How did we end up like this, distanc’d and dissociat’d?
Why hadn’t I, had not effort put in enough?

Retrospect, surely our relationship, not estrang’d,
I seem mistaken, he was there no doubting it.
His actions ensu’d no reason other but Love,
Least I forget, Dad was Dad all along.

I bet there’s way more he did than I can here in speech,
And now he’s gone, I cried eventually, what good is it?
Perhaps in another decade half him I’ll again see,
Perhaps then we could redo what we’d miss’d.

Share

Take her in the wind

“Take her in the wind” by Esmond Ng 25/02/12 © Copyright

You get not what you want, but want what you can’t.
You hurt the shes whom heart you,
Yet are hurt by she you gave yours to.
Wouldn’t it just a mystery be, if Life kindly treats,
Us for once what we would like be treat.
What’s gone is best perhaps left in the wind,
For thoughts that return within carry its chills, its pins.
And with each whispering rustle kiss,
It cuts bone deep, really so deep.

Share

You Still You? A Coffee Sometime?

“You Still You? A Coffee Sometime?” by Esmond Ng 24/02/11 © Copyright

Just on Monday I was reminded,
For a storey away close; Of you.
Just Today in chat my friend and I of,
Memories fond; our once’d treasured, Loved.

Today totally caught me off guard unexpected,
This Wednesday of news bad but in night appeared,
After Time had sailed you far along that River of Life,
Never thought I again would that memory in Real’s light.

You know you look the same no different from first,
When first I with at Harbor’s Front with you.
You look exactly how I remembered countless of times,
When we first dotted those stars on our only starred sky.

Perhaps a little weathered but still you,
Cherry-lipped and fair maiden’d skin I had in 05 described.
Perhaps a little jaded but still you to I,
Sunny eyed which warmed my chilled barefooted beach night.

And if you be reading this on this night I write,
Kid not I myself but still u and I same mind’d.
For those lavender moments we held close to mind,
A friend, could I ask for perhaps a coffee again sometime?

Share

Everyone Else

“Everyone Else” by Esmond Ng 14/02/11 © Copyright

One of my favorite celebrations,
One that makes Love, to me alive.
The one which fairies my idealistic Life,
The one which longs my Heart so desire.

And yet again Love cruels my truest affection,
To the You I thought finally found the other.
Yet the beats do not strike as intended,
The Hearts somewhat I perhaps mistaken.

Was it folly of me to give once more,
I fall in too easily and Frank says too fast.
In Love She could have misinterpreted,
Maybe too hard for her Heart to fully grasp.

So what make of I this Love declaration sad?
Now once more drowneth I in self-pity distress.
But for all my friends whom their Loves have met,
This day for everyone else Valentines glad.

Share

The Business of Relativity

The Business of Relativity

A State of Being Referenced

By Esmond Ng 05/06/10 © Copyright

Recently, there was an article suggesting that the strengthening of the Singapore dollar would not affect our exports. In the conventional school of thought, the appreciation of a country’s currency would naturally lead to its exports being comparatively more expensive for the importing country. However this article suggests that because of the stronger dollar, the inputs (which are mostly sourced internationally) into the export products become cheaper; thus not affecting our export costs and quantities.

We are not probating nor assailing the article’s point of view, but instead using it to bring up a relevant issue of relativity. When we try to make any sort of comparisons, the subject will always be relative to another matter. When we purchase our end-product inputs, what is our exchange rate to the source country? Is the other currency moving in the same direction too? Or is our appreciation really a true indication of more value?

If we are assessing exclusively, then whatever we are looking at will always be absolute for there is nothing else to benchmark against. Personally, a 1.0L automobile is a luxury to me. (Or any other affordable automobile for that matter of fact) However, once you put the subject next to a Mercedes or even a Bentley, the comparison immediately becomes obvious.

I boldly propose that Sun Tzu’s most renowned phrase has remained famous over the last 2,000 years precisely for the same reason. Without knowing who and what we are up against is surely tantamount to failure. How can we expect to compete with something that we are not aware of?

There are numerous tools and methodologies known for carrying out competitive analysis. Most of which almost always boil down to the same few principles with “Research” commonly being the first agenda as it sets the forward direction.

Who are our immediate competitors? What advantages do they have? Are there gaps that my business can thrive in? These are perhaps just the tip of the iceberg when accosted with the increasingly competitive arenas that our industries are in.

Then who do we reference ourselves against? If we are the top few market leaders, naturally our strategy would be to compare our strengths and weaknesses against the other top brands available. If we are closer to being a statistic in the sheer volume of companies doing the same replicable business, then we should seriously investigate into setting unique propositions and differentiating ourselves.

Only through thorough reflection and more reflection would we know how to capitalize on what we’ve got and where to improve ourselves where it most counts. The important thing here is knowing which other business(es) we are relative to. Talk to many people; experts and laymen. Talk to consultants if you have to. Finding out how you compare to the next better player will set you free.

Share

Love should not need

“Love should not need” by Esmond Ng © copyright 07/01/06

Words from Thy Heart need not speak,
For tongues unworldly fit deem to say of it.
See need not Love’s eye to sight,
That what you be feeling needn’t show explicit.

Thoughts as such no one seems know,
Less even as to touch your soul.
I beg to differ that it be not the involvement of hands,
That melts what where your true self beats.

Thou longeth for glances candied and delicate lips,
Even memories to warm up and safe keep.
But most of all what your beatings forlorn need,
Is a Love; fairytale ever after to exist.

I be saying all these as same I somewhat agree,
That what you dearly hold on to I can relate honestly.
If kind fate should ever decree favorably,
Too I search what you too seek.

Magical if such Love should indeed extant be,
Doubt I that Thou will really ever should need;
Such speech, sight, mind and senses sweet,
For Love is the only thing needed transcend all these.

No words said but thoughts the other knows,
No visions but the other Thee clearly in head sees.
No tendering touches but still lucidly; felt we.
For Love true should if exist,
All these irrelevant be; we not need.

Share

Forget Me

“Forget Me” by Esmond Ng © copyright 11/12/05

Forget you?
Why should I?
For to me you the most pleasant;
Of all my memories present.

Forget you?
And the reason being?
Not that hopes of rekindled feelings hold,
Just as a dear friend I hope still own.

They say:
“Friends are friends forever.”
Ain’t that the way supposed it be?
Then why I feel ostracized and such enmity?

I still do cry out Heavenly One,
Not for Love to come my way.
But for happiness your way,
And all that you wish for to stay.

I may have mistakes made,
Along this lonely path swayed.
But I am just man to err,
Not an excuse but forgiveness please I pray.

At the end of my days,
I still hope to have this memory engraved.
That maybe sweet thoughts of you,
Can keep my beliefs sane.

Oh no, I haven’t changed.
I still believe, I still do keep;
That someday true Love cometh,
This never smooth road runneth.

Then I ask once again.
“Forget me”, “Why?” I say.
For all this searching while for,
A perfect memory I’ve found that day.

Share

This Place

“This Place” by Esmond Ng © copyright 25/11/05

After all, this was where I first saw you in white angelic.
The place I picked you up from for our first date.
The place I thought I would see the sweetest thing to my eyes each every day.
The place which stayed the one who took my last true love breath away.

At this place I hold much lovely memories but also pain.
That I would hurt someone and disappoint her till this day.
At this place, never the same it will be.
At this place, they soon will tear down; cease to exist.

But at this place, though no longer soon be;
Will stay the same in heart and mind; like you be to me.
For I to you, believe you still say the same;
That you be a holder of past “begone” memories.

Share

Rainbows

“Rainbows” by Esmond Ng © copyright 12/10/05

Rainbows, the most spectacular show of lights on Earth.
Colors which make happy even the darkest of Hades.
Called so due to dispersed spectrum through mist,
Miracle of Nature indeed it is.

Seven colors some deem display of refraction properties.
Simply I ascribe each to every day of week,
That thoughts of you equally as pleasing sweet;
So such candied beauty is actually reflected on Thy cheeks.

What makes it all amazing, the bow of the rain,
Bending it’s colorations down for Thee.
Few fathom the top of bow is where ye sun is peaked,
The very place Thou be when Thy eyes chance upon should it.

More so fewer knows the sun be behind when Rainbows are seen;
The warm rays of console backing you though unseen.
When Thou should thinkst all is gloom and so biting,
Turn and look, there may your forlorn beam be.

I have heard from a dear friend this,
“That everyone through storms go before a Rainbow achieved.”
Think of it this, even Noah’s storm for forty days and nights did;
Take heart Dearie, your Rainbow is on due way soon you’ll see.

Share

Your Promise

“Your Promise” by Esmond Ng © copyright 30/08/05

Your promise to me, I cling on dearly;
Like a babe’s insecurity away from His mother’s embracing peace.
Your promise to me, I wish realized daily;
That each second passes, I die more so gradually.

In song, quando when Thee be mine?
Quando tornerete? My moments a day, my days truly a lifetime.
For in song seems improbable this relation be,
But in Life this be my soul song that sings.

When He simile’d that each thought of Thee a flower be,
That He then a garden could have beautiful and big.
I tell Thee this: “That my garden no smaller than His,”
“That my garden gardened duly due to Thee.”

I thinks’t not any little less of my baby,
Not today, these days or what tomorrow be.
That added frownings I want not for Thee,
Thus back to my secret garden I wait admirably;
My garden kept watered by your promise to me.

Share

Four Dreams

“Four Dreams” by Esmond Ng © copyright 30/08/05

The other night you were away,
Out went I, gallivanting amidst boisterous crowds.
Fluttering to music or rather, noises all too loud;
Loneliness did help, aid to plug them out.

How happy you could not see,
My face that moment of message yours I received.
But it must have been noticed my face which gleamed,
For burdened everyone else’s around me.

Seemingly drunk I stammered home,
However fresh your memory I hold untainted close.
That all I can think of is Thee in foreign land remote,
And how far my baby is though under the same moon glow.

After much debate did my eyes actually occlude,
To sleep I thought “Hey, tomorrow will be better posed.”
Serenity tranquil associated to rest not true,
For it seemed my night was terribly consumed.

Four times aroused through the dark slumbers,
Each time I recall, I dreamt of only you.
And once did I cry before from truly forty winks awoke,
How else could my pillow and sheets be soaked?

They say a drunk’s word most honest; it be true,
Wanted to know whose name I’d call if I were juiced.
Wanted to see if in Love really I be with you,
No need an answer now for my seek of candor truth.

For know I this moment where it belongs,
My heart and yearnings; they for you.
At least I fathomed my feelings as honest real,
At least I know now my breath breathes for you.

Share

Happy Crying

“Happy Crying” by Esmond Ng © copyright 12/08/05

I know you have seen people crying,
When loved ones they leave.
I know you have seen people crying,
When things don’t move smoothly.

But have you seen people crying,
When loved ones they meet?
But have you seen people crying,
When even if it’s only been few days without each?

Such intense sensations erupted out suddenly,
Like volcanoes dormant no one expected it.
Such happiness shown in uncontrolled crying,
Such only a few would ever know this feeling.

You’d thought such only in movies forth coming.
It impossible that crying be a form of delighting.
Neither did I ever believed in it oxymoronic,
Until myself did I cry when happy and relieved.

Share

How have you been?

“How have you been?” by Esmond Ng 16/06/05 © copyright

Not sure if realize Thee, it’s been almost three full moons since last;
That I’ve seen those windows in eyes so lovely.
Last couple of days, can’t help me but thinks’t;
Of you and how Life has treated Thee.

I don’t have much ways to convey, to express.
But only through these words I message my thoughts that hoping you’d read.
That I’m still around wishing best everything for someone special to me.
That till this day, Thou art still amazing vividly.

Though short this period be, to me eternity time so seems.
Many things changed have may, from lodging to even studies.
Simple things these like, I have no benefit of sharing.
And simply no means of even knowing.

For no news is often said of as good news,
Thus I trust that Thee be well doing.
Sincerely I hope it be of this conjured case,
For if otherwise I’d be truly sad; hurting.

Pray I do still, that for you everything smooth sailing.
Many times, for my miracle that you’d call me so occasionally.
Most importantly however I need,
Thee be in happy bliss.

Share

Truly Lived

Sometimes I try so hard to find quotes of the month to fit into my personal experiences and Life. So this month I thought: “What the heck? I’ll come up with my own quotes instead!

“There are some people that enter your Life, then exit the very next moment. Yet there are those special ones whom come into your Heart and never really manage to find their ways out. That, my friend, is how you know you have truly lived.”
~ © Esmond Ng 02/06/05

Share

My Diary

“My Diary” by Esmond Ng © copyright 17/05/05

I have a diary.
Which I write of things I can’t express here.
My inner most thoughts and feelings I unreservedly explicit.
Of which many are glum and melancholy.

I have a diary.
It be where my solace is.
For no other can relate to me; the way it can, truly.
Experiences, my journal; my life story.

If Heaven so decree and unkind be,
Let me make my final entry.
Then let the world be made known,
That this be my best work yet.

For the essence of my diary,
Is really what my Life means.
That no word in existence more appropriate,
Describe what Pain be.

So is this end of road for me?
If so really, pray do read my diary.

Share

I’m still me

“I’m still me” by Esmond Ng 06/05/05 © copyright

I know it seems different now,
A very chang’d circumstance we be in.
With every exchange liken’d to,
The decay of cold fatality wins.

For days, hours, seconds they creep by;
Exacerbate bad to its superlative.
Though I be thought of as repugnant,
Is that the really of me you knew?

Distrust and disbelief they set in,
Find my all so unnecessarily burden’d.
One day it be hard to see me;
The me who has always been.

For I am who you first chanc’d to meet,
I am the very same from the beginning.
Looks’t back and pray thee remember please,
Memory the same very old me.

Share

Some Kind of Love

The following were also in my friendster at one point. Found them really nice. Or rather, very heart-felt by me. Thought perhaps you’d like them too?

Love is that condition in which
The happiness of another person
Is essential to your own.
~ by Robert A. Heinlein, Stranger in a Strange Land ~

Love, you know, seeks to make happy rather than to be happy.
~ by Ralph Connor ~

I’d like to run away
From you,
But if you didn’t come
And find me …
I would die.
~ by Shirley Bassey ~

I have loved to the point of madness;
That which is called madness,
That which to me,
Is the only sensible way to love.
~ by F. Sagan ~

If I go away
What would still remain of me?
The ghost within your eyes?
The whisper in your sighs?
You see…Believe
And I’m always there.
~ by Jon Oliva ~

I sought for Love
But Love ran away from me.
I sought my Soul
But my Soul I couldn’t see.
Then I sought You,
And I found all three.
~ by Unknown Author ~

The minute I heard my first love story,
I started looking for you, not knowing how blind that was.
Lovers don’t finally meet somewhere.
They’re in each other all along.
~ by Maulana Jalalu’ddin Rumi ~

To love is to receive a glimpse of heaven.
~ by Karen Sunde ~

You may only be one person to the world
But you may also be the world to one person.
~ by Anonymous ~

True love cannot be found where it truly does not exist,
Nor can it be hidden where it truly does.
~ by Anonymous ~

To love a person is to learn the song
That is in their heart,
And to sing it to them
When they have forgotten.
~ by Anonymous ~

The only things in life you regret,
Are the risks that you didn’t take.
~ by Anonymous ~

True love doesn’t have a happy ending:
True love doesn’t have an ending.
~ by Anonymous ~

You don’t love a woman because she’s beautiful,
She is beautiful because you love her.
~ by Anonymous ~

Love is not a matter of counting the years…
But making the years count.
~ by Michelle St. Amand ~

Just because someone doesn’t love you
in the way you want them to,
doesn’t mean that they don’t love you
with all they’ve got.
~ by Author unknown ~

Share

Flipping

“Flipping” by Esmond Ng 06/04/05 © copyright

Remember the time your notebook took I from you?
Flipped to the end page and this which wrote;
Sweet a little message, sugary like you.
Of my purpose, penning thoughts so true.

Meaning the flipping to back I construed,
Signifies which back of my mind are you.
That with each day that is renewed,
The first thought, my smile begins with you.

Wrote I too that hopping each time could you,
Flip to the back and thinkst of me too.

Share

Some Nice Love Quotes

Some nice Love quotes.

“Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies.”
–Aristotle

“In dreams and in love there are no impossibilities.”
–Janos Arnay

“My night has become a sunny dawn because of you.”
–Ibn Abbad

“A kiss is a lovely trick, designed by nature, to stop words when speech becomes superfluous.”
–Ingrid Bergmen

“Your words are my food, your breath my wine. You are everything to me.”
–Sarah Bernhardt”

In my wildest dreams, you always play the hero. In my darkest hour of night, you rescue me, you save my life.”
–Bliss and Cerney

“You’re nothing short of my everything.”
–Ralph Block

“What I do and what I dream include thee, as the wine must taste of its own grapes…”
–Elizabeth Barret Browning

“Like music on the waters is they sweet voice to me.”
–Lord Byron

“I love you, not only for what you are, But for what I am when I am with you.”
–Roy Croft

“Thou art to me a delicious torment.”
–Ralph Waldo Emerson

“It’s so easy, To think about Love, To Talk about Love, To wish for Love, But it’s not always easy, To recognize Love, Even when we hold it…. In our hands.”
–Jaka

“Two souls with but a single thought, two hearts that beat as one.”
–John Keats

“The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart.”
–Helen Keller

“In the arithmetic of love, one plus one equals everything, and two minus one equals nothing.”
–Mignon McLaughlin

“Sometimes your nearness takes my breath away; and all the things I want to say can find no voice. Then, in silence, I can only hope my eyes will speak my heart.”
–Robert Sexton

“My heart is ever at your service.”
–William Shakespeare

“Within you I lose myself. Without you I find myself wanting to become lost again.”
–Unknown

“If I could reach up and hold a star for every time you made me smile, I would have the whole night sky in the palm of my hand.”
–Unknown

“If you love me only in my dreams, let me be asleep forever.”
–Unknown

“Kiss me and you will see stars; love me and I will give them to you.”
–Unknown

“The most eloquent silence; that of two mouths meeting in a kiss.”
–Unknown

“Love doesn’t make the world go round, love is what makes the ride worthwhile.”
–Elizabeth Browning

“If I know what love is, it is because of you.”
–Herman Hesse

“If I had a flower for every time I thought of you, I could walk in my garden forever.”
–Alfred Lord Tennyson

Share