Posts Tagged ‘solace’
esmondng on July 31st, 2008
I recently read in the papers about a really unfortunate incident that happened in Taiwan. A lady plagued by illness decided to take her own life by leaping off a building. The untoward circumstance was that she had landed on an innocent passerby; taking her life. Condolences and solace to the families. I’m not going to blog about who’s outcome deserving or not. But it got me thinking about writing something that we all do so often; leaping before looking.
Whether it be in love, career or daily choices, we all frequently make irrational rash decisions every now and then. All so repeatedly, we draw conclusions from ill-informed information based more on our foolhardy emotions. After which many we would deeply regret.
I’m guilty of falling into this emotive trap at times. I too have many contributions to this lamentable list of imbecilic mistakes. What’s worse is that we ofttimes hurt someone else in the process as well. Remember the Chinese phrase?
Direct translation would mean: “Spilled water can’t be retrieved.” What we do or say are simply irreversible. Once the damage is done, it’s done. I would like to take this chance to apologise to everyone that I have ever hurt directly or indirectly, knowingly or unknowingly.
Maybe it’ll do us all some good if we remind ourselves to really look and think, deliberate if we have to before we start leaping away again.
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esmondng on July 22nd, 2008
In response to a comment left on my last post in my previous blog; I believe there isn’t a single straight-forward answer pertaining to where you can find your happiness. Happiness is a solitary state of being. Only you, yourself will know whether you are truly in bliss. I feel it’s neither a process of searching nor attaining. When it happens, it just happens.
I can’t give you an answer because I don’t have one. I too, have yet to realize any certitude of happiness. I have on occasions came close but only to recognize they were merely glimpses of heaven.
What I can leave you with is something gained on one of those “occasions”. This very dear person said to me:
“Don’t look for happiness, let it look for you. You’ll be much happier.” ~ Bubu
I know embracing this statement leaves us in a very uncertain, volatile capacity. Nevertheless, ponder over it. I have challenged it, but on return found much solace in it. Why I found this phrase comforting? Esmond’s very own quote for October:
“What you can force, isn’t meant to be.” ~ © Esmond Ng 02/10/05
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esmondng on July 22nd, 2008
“Wish you with me” by Esmond Ng © copyright 30/08/05
In glee, my joyous soul longeth for Thee;
To share and savor each victory with Thou art and only.
That each becomes a pleasantly sweet memory,
One which I can in retrospect say: “Ah, I did that with Thee!”
In melancholy, my woeful heart’s voice calls for Thee,
To find solace and comfort when Thee beside me.
That Thou’s assuring voice and hug can be just as sugary,
As ye sunshine smile when I set eyes on my lovely.
Where art Thou when I so pined for Thee?
Where art Thou when moments I so wished spent along my baby?
That I could have so much more pleasing dreamings,
Where art Thou when I wish you with me?
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esmondng on July 22nd, 2008
My friend, siLLyeGG wrote the following:
“She” © 17/08/05
She may be the onli one I ever need
Except that she is now wif another kidz
Loving her secretly was not that sweet
In my mind I have feel the heat
Not knowing of what she may thinks
Alone I stay and continue my dream…
-eGG-
No offense but in some way, we share the same dream. In response:
“Having the same dream” by Esmond Ng © copyright 19/08/05
My dream from awaken from slumber sweet,
Yet it be like still in drowse this romantic reverie.
She may be another’s only and ever need;
Else that, however her heart already with me.
Lest I be just some other simpleton kid,
I believe it be more than child’s play that me she fancies.
Not at all secret that Thou’s Love for her scorned in heat,
Agree I, that loving her is no easy feat.
Again reality painfully bites when arisen from sleep,
Not alone you, I too find solace so comforting in dreams.
Deem us Shakespeare’s blinding fools we both be,
Men in Love never really could objectively see.
Else why would He say: “…so is all nature in love mortal in folly.”
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esmondng on July 22nd, 2008
“The 166” by Esmond Ng © copyright 09/07/05
It’s all at variance; the feeling now after ye move.
166 a place dear now seems so at ease.
Leisurely seated on the blue-tiled stool as writing these,
For depart’d fear of chance you’d see my doing this.
Not ever hoped I that I may glimpse of Thee,
Nor ever dreamt that my sight would cross with Thee’s.
But solace seeking and relish that I stay here,
Near my very own yellow-signed love story.
Even though Thou’s shadow has shifted expectedly,
More of a memory, a picture frame in mind it hath left me.
Yes, it may look silly or crazy some have deem’d.
To this special place frequent I still constantly.
The taint’d white cat cuddles up next to me,
As if it knows me, of my solitary misery.
Occasionally it steals glances; those that pierce right through the soul,
It be like saying: “Easy, I feel for you for I the same fate be.”
Still my thoughts would often play cruel tricks on me.
Thinking how nice it would be if all can restart from time on bridge.
For then, it would still feel like an eternity;
An eternity so perfect in fairy dreams.
How heart-wrenching that sound of bus should pull alongside me,
Snapping me out of my own world; this world of poetic release.
So as light breeze this night ends this week abruptly,
My leaving likened to Enya’s “Deora Ar Mo Chroi”;
“Tears Of My Heart” it sings indeed.
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esmondng on July 22nd, 2008
“My Diary” by Esmond Ng © copyright 17/05/05
I have a diary.
Which I write of things I can’t express here.
My inner most thoughts and feelings I unreservedly explicit.
Of which many are glum and melancholy.
I have a diary.
It be where my solace is.
For no other can relate to me; the way it can, truly.
Experiences, my journal; my life story.
If Heaven so decree and unkind be,
Let me make my final entry.
Then let the world be made known,
That this be my best work yet.
For the essence of my diary,
Is really what my Life means.
That no word in existence more appropriate,
Describe what Pain be.
So is this end of road for me?
If so really, pray do read my diary.
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