esmondng on January 14th, 2012
1. You realize that you can feel all the emotional statuses appearing on your Facebook feed.
2. You realize you can zone out for extended periods without any recollection of what you did, how you got to somewhere, why were doing something, et cetera.
3. You have compulsive behavior over things you know don’t make a difference to the issue.
4. You need to control the verge of tearing the minute you are alone. e.g. In the washroom’s cubicle.
5. You have to fight back tearing at your colleague’s personal life sharing.
6. You can tremble your lips within 10 seconds, well your eyes within 20, and switch from all smiles to a face full of tears within 30.
7. You cry uncontrollably to Wedding proposal videos on YouTube.
8. You cry to memories half a year old.
9. You cry to imaginary scenarios you create.
10. You cry to anything and everything remotely touching.
11. You cry during Worship sessions at church.
12. You cry without realizing that you are.
13. You tell everyone that you’re alright but you know deep down that you are capable of swinging back to the lowest point at the snap of a finger.
14. You managed to say yes to all the above within the last 2 weeks.
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esmondng on December 22nd, 2011
“In-between those hustles in Life, I sometimes afford a snap of idle rumination, where things around me would slow, gradually, to a crawl, and just before anchoring to that irreversible still, I see. I see clearly what has passed, as if it were flashing in front of the now moored inactivity. Not I one who perfect-bethinks of my battered past, but more of an inability to remove myself from my aggrieved. When only in such allayed mood would I lose control and regret that breather of initially. What have I done or did not possibly? That time actually kills me, ironically, muffled from its chase, however impossible by this inasmuch logic. It is in such that while quietly wasting away, I think of you. That my disconnecting moments, they belong to you. And I realize, not least bewildered, that it is all I do these days. Then I wait. I wait for time to flinch again.” ~ © Esmond Ng 22/12/11
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esmondng on January 8th, 2009
“The Lead Box” by Esmond Ng 08/01/09 © Copyright
Choices not apparent the always,
Deceivable most times the case,
If be uninvolved so snap smooth the first place,
Then what of choice would be it in dawning preface?
How we then make verdict of it all?
Consensus concord a volition pray.
For some in haste and foolhardy made,
Regrettable woeful will afflict its place.
Bassanio too was worriment engaged,
For dependent was Portia on his take.
Should gold, silver or lead be his box picked?
Should he cull a coward pick?
As stairs of sand they wear upon their chins,
The beard of Hercules and all their fancy things.
But inward with their milk’d white livers,
So too the precious metal boxes contain.
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