“God works in mysterious ways when you allow Him into our lives. Earlier today I was pummeled by terrible bolts of mood-swings, those sudden moments where all one’s worst recollections congregate in an unannounced cacophony. Perhaps, it’s not something that an uninitiated could readily empathize. To prune, imagine depression in intermittent espresso shots. Just when I felt that it was going to be another dingy day, God squeezed a beaming smile from within me. I was dragging my disparaged spirit back towards office after lunch when I noticed a pram’d Caucasian boy of three thereabouts setting his eyes intently on me. The instant I drew up alongside him, he let out the cutest chuckle ever while waving his bitty hands up at me! His eyes lit up, resembling sparkles on a new year’s eve night. It was like he knew me. It was like God smiling at me through this little darling, reassuring me that He’s got me and everything is alright. I smiled wholeheartedly.” ~ Esmond Ng 11/01/12

“In-between those hustles in Life, I sometimes afford a snap of idle rumination, where things around me would slow, gradually, to a crawl, and just before anchoring to that irreversible still, I see. I see clearly what has passed, as if it were flashing in front of the now moored inactivity. Not I one who perfect-bethinks of my battered past, but more of an inability to remove myself from my aggrieved. When only in such allayed mood would I lose control and regret that breather of initially. What have I done or did not possibly? That time actually kills me, ironically, muffled from its chase, however impossible by this inasmuch logic. It is in such that while quietly wasting away, I think of you. That my disconnecting moments, they belong to you. And I realize, not least bewildered, that it is all I do these days. Then I wait. I wait for time to flinch again.” ~ © Esmond Ng 22/12/11

Just on Monday I was reminded,
For a storey away close; Of you.
Just Today in chat my friend and I of,
Memories fond; our once’d treasured, Loved.

Today totally caught me off guard unexpected,
This Wednesday of news bad but in night appeared,
After Time had sailed you far along that River of Life,
Never thought I again would that memory in Real’s light.

You know you look the same no different from first,
When first I with at Harbor’s Front with you.
You look exactly how I remembered countless of times,
When we first dotted those stars on our only starred sky.

Perhaps a little weathered but still you,
Cherry-lipped and fair maiden’d skin I had in 05 described.
Perhaps a little jaded but still you to I,
Sunny eyed which warmed my chilled barefooted beach night.

And if you be reading this on this night I write,
Kid not I myself but still u and I same mind’d.
For those lavender moments we held close to mind,
A friend, could I ask for perhaps a coffee again sometime?

To me Love is but to Love,
Nothing less than which suffices the word.
To me Love is surely to give,
Unconditionally to put the other as first.

When sit I in still of night ponder,
Why of all do I miss Thee every unengaged?
Of my waking moments does do doeth,
That you fill my mind of you and your images.

Nothing else matters,
For you am I yours only should you ask given.
I am everything I choose for you be,
If only you see what I see.

But this night I sit again yet rethinketh,
What be I to you then I wonder.
Would I be to you what you be to me?
Would I be first everything just like my Love to me?

For you not to me what I to you,
Always had put in first place my heart true.
I believed once, I did,
I believed in you and me.

These three words most commonly used;
Misused, underused and superfluously accented.
For oft-imagined they only indulged in Lovers’ converse,
Neglected Love of kinships and friends due.

If Fate so callously command should to me,
That next beautiful sunrise again I will never see.
Then let all I adore be told these three,
Lest they cease to ever remember me remember Thee.

For Love be from me to my Parents rightfully,
And Love be to all close or even acquainted me.
Not least be Love to fore Lovers of mine give,
That each did I bare for Thine wholeheartedly.

Did chance not I had to profess all these?
Nay I say, for my actions they preceded me.
Only for moments with me not around to please,
I Love You for moments just like these.

Your promise to me, I cling on dearly;
Like a babe’s insecurity away from His mother’s embracing peace.
Your promise to me, I wish realized daily;
That each second passes, I die more so gradually.

In song, quando when Thee be mine?
Quando tornerete? My moments a day, my days truly a lifetime.
For in song seems improbable this relation be,
But in Life this be my soul song that sings.

When He simile’d that each thought of Thee a flower be,
That He then a garden could have beautiful and big.
I tell Thee this: “That my garden no smaller than His,”
“That my garden gardened duly due to Thee.”

I thinks’t not any little less of my baby,
Not today, these days or what tomorrow be.
That added frownings I want not for Thee,
Thus back to my secret garden I wait admirably;
My garden kept watered by your promise to me.

In glee, my joyous soul longeth for Thee;
To share and savor each victory with Thou art and only.
That each becomes a pleasantly sweet memory,
One which I can in retrospect say: “Ah, I did that with Thee!”

In melancholy, my woeful heart’s voice calls for Thee,
To find solace and comfort when Thee beside me.
That Thou’s assuring voice and hug can be just as sugary,
As ye sunshine smile when I set eyes on my lovely.

Where art Thou when I so pined for Thee?
Where art Thou when moments I so wished spent along my baby?
That I could have so much more pleasing dreamings,
Where art Thou when I wish you with me?

They say: “Why do people treasure things only after they lose it?”
May it be the missings during lonely moments?
May it be the memories so sweet brought back?
Perhaps even the familiarity of not having what used to be about?

Why then do people complain about those not already there?
Why then do people lament about things already sunk and gone?
But do they not see the after; what may in future store?
The subsequent treasures that may come forth?

I say to them: “Why treasure what’s already gone, already lost?”
What’s the use of saying treasure only after forgone?
Why not treasure what’s here and now?
What’s truly right in front of you that still is around;
And not turn into another treasure only after gone.

As the world within the glass globe seems,
So pretty and everlasting be.
I wish the same of every Love story.
In one way within, perfection and fairytale achiev’d.

Precious Moments may some see it,
Forever memories others deem.
For others like me, looking in from the world outside;
It really be forlorn a journey.

Whether be me or another in glass globe dream,
Sincerely wish I the best for thee.
For really if I have Loved or so I’m convinc’d,
Then be happy is all I need from thee.

How true. The overlooking view from the top of a subdued mountain. The serenity of nature. The first time your kite took flight. When first you heard “Daddy” from your child. The smiles you drew from your loved ones. The times you cherish together. The very love and mercy of God. How many times have you had your breath taken away this week? Remember them, for they are what you really live for.

911-Sept, 11. A special dedication towards the families, friends and loved ones of all those who were lost but now are found; in His loving hands. May God keep those who still hurt in His abundant love and grace. Amen. And till all wounds are healed, remember “your moments”.