My Pseudo Lover

“My Pseudo Lover” by Esmond Ng 30/08/12 © Copyright

We met, the unlikeliest of places in,
Over periwinkles and happily ever-afters.
You laughed initially, at the girl of dreams my,
But soon you saw, what really meant I.

We coupled, our fixations shared,
Remote and absurd but our inhibitions bared.
You suggested we chat and did we,
A bee to flower it soon daily be.

We dreamt of each other funny,
For never met had we.
And we heard each other’s soul acutely,
Though our voices, too had not we.

I became your morning addiction,
And you, I didn’t make known, became mine.
I wrote you poems and messages sweet,
Some that made you tingled, multiply.

We made Love, cuddled and caressed,
Through our thoughts and words unclad.
We made Love on our minds’ ends,
The longings we couldn’t repress.

I had thought we should have next stepped,
I had thought we both were ready.
But guesses me over Sunday no not maybe,
That sure, my Pseudo Lover isn’t yet she.

Now she distanced seems,
My fault, I keep blaming me.
Why the haste so,
Why stupidly did I do, what did me.

She dilemmas over us,
And rightly so should she.
As in her mind reruns our memories,
So I too, her pinky promises to me.

Rereading our writings umpteenly,
Unknowingly attached have become me.
And all this while I tried to steal pieces of your heart,
You had already taken mine completely.

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Four Dreams

“Four Dreams” by Esmond Ng © copyright 30/08/05

The other night you were away,
Out went I, gallivanting amidst boisterous crowds.
Fluttering to music or rather, noises all too loud;
Loneliness did help, aid to plug them out.

How happy you could not see,
My face that moment of message yours I received.
But it must have been noticed my face which gleamed,
For burdened everyone else’s around me.

Seemingly drunk I stammered home,
However fresh your memory I hold untainted close.
That all I can think of is Thee in foreign land remote,
And how far my baby is though under the same moon glow.

After much debate did my eyes actually occlude,
To sleep I thought “Hey, tomorrow will be better posed.”
Serenity tranquil associated to rest not true,
For it seemed my night was terribly consumed.

Four times aroused through the dark slumbers,
Each time I recall, I dreamt of only you.
And once did I cry before from truly forty winks awoke,
How else could my pillow and sheets be soaked?

They say a drunk’s word most honest; it be true,
Wanted to know whose name I’d call if I were juiced.
Wanted to see if in Love really I be with you,
No need an answer now for my seek of candor truth.

For know I this moment where it belongs,
My heart and yearnings; they for you.
At least I fathomed my feelings as honest real,
At least I know now my breath breathes for you.

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How have you been?

“How have you been?” by Esmond Ng 16/06/05 © copyright

Not sure if realize Thee, it’s been almost three full moons since last;
That I’ve seen those windows in eyes so lovely.
Last couple of days, can’t help me but thinks’t;
Of you and how Life has treated Thee.

I don’t have much ways to convey, to express.
But only through these words I message my thoughts that hoping you’d read.
That I’m still around wishing best everything for someone special to me.
That till this day, Thou art still amazing vividly.

Though short this period be, to me eternity time so seems.
Many things changed have may, from lodging to even studies.
Simple things these like, I have no benefit of sharing.
And simply no means of even knowing.

For no news is often said of as good news,
Thus I trust that Thee be well doing.
Sincerely I hope it be of this conjured case,
For if otherwise I’d be truly sad; hurting.

Pray I do still, that for you everything smooth sailing.
Many times, for my miracle that you’d call me so occasionally.
Most importantly however I need,
Thee be in happy bliss.

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Flipping

“Flipping” by Esmond Ng 06/04/05 © copyright

Remember the time your notebook took I from you?
Flipped to the end page and this which wrote;
Sweet a little message, sugary like you.
Of my purpose, penning thoughts so true.

Meaning the flipping to back I construed,
Signifies which back of my mind are you.
That with each day that is renewed,
The first thought, my smile begins with you.

Wrote I too that hopping each time could you,
Flip to the back and thinkst of me too.

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