Posts Tagged ‘Love’
esmondng on October 21st, 2008
“Love is King” by Esmond Ng 21/10/08 © Copyright
By King; not of monarchial palatine,
But that of sovereign authority.
That Love is King,
The potent utmost of feelings.
For towers it his adversary,
Hate that chew’d through humanity.
The nemesis most reputed regentship,
That Love defeats whole-heatedly.
So true they say of it,
Love conquers all through ages repeat.
Care it be tempestuous heat,
Love would always cool the salvage beast.
Not of just trouncing its archenemy,
The transmuting to lesser of hostilities.
Also but with Love comes many,
Blitzkrieg transmogrifications scary.
For Love can crash the deepest of seas,
From Love to Hate and aggression leads.
But too Love can scale insurmountable peaks,
Comes Joy and Happiness beyond speech.
What then cursory speak of Love we?
Nay I say speak but only reverence should we.
For it be what it is,
The root of all feelings King.
Related posts
esmondng on July 31st, 2008
I recently read in the papers about a really unfortunate incident that happened in Taiwan. A lady plagued by illness decided to take her own life by leaping off a building. The untoward circumstance was that she had landed on an innocent passerby; taking her life. Condolences and solace to the families. I’m not going to blog about who’s outcome deserving or not. But it got me thinking about writing something that we all do so often; leaping before looking.
Whether it be in love, career or daily choices, we all frequently make irrational rash decisions every now and then. All so repeatedly, we draw conclusions from ill-informed information based more on our foolhardy emotions. After which many we would deeply regret.
I’m guilty of falling into this emotive trap at times. I too have many contributions to this lamentable list of imbecilic mistakes. What’s worse is that we ofttimes hurt someone else in the process as well. Remember the Chinese phrase?
Direct translation would mean: “Spilled water can’t be retrieved.” What we do or say are simply irreversible. Once the damage is done, it’s done. I would like to take this chance to apologise to everyone that I have ever hurt directly or indirectly, knowingly or unknowingly.
Maybe it’ll do us all some good if we remind ourselves to really look and think, deliberate if we have to before we start leaping away again.
Related posts
esmondng on July 29th, 2008
I grew up in a Christian family and did all the things other Christian kids did. Going to sunday school, joining youth fellowships and trusting God as my Lord and Saviour. Although I was “born” into a Christian family, I genuinely knew for myself that God was real in my life. I ended up getting very involved in the youth worships; playing the guitar and occasionally leading it. Everything seemed to be heading in the right direction. God blessed me tremendously. I did very well in school; getting scholarships, book prizes and the lot. I never had any major catastrophes to deal with. So basically life was all good.
Well in any story, there has got be some twist and turns right? At some point in time my “perfect” family started to crumble. Sparing the details, my sheltered existence took one of the biggest downturns I had ever been accosted with. I started to blame God for everything bad that happened even though I knew he had an infallible plan for us all. Despite that, blaming someone else was always the easiest option. I simply chose to not see his faithfulness carrying me through.
I wanted more than just contend to know that God was there. Becoming defiant, I conveniently turned my back to him. I wanted my own “Miracle” to prove that God still loved me. I would often say: “If you are omnipotent and all knowing, show me a sign. Show me that you are real to me.”
From then on, things got really bad. I dropped out of church and indulged in almost everything unholy and corrupt. To be honest, I haven’t really fully recovered until this day. Although I knew deep down that God was always watching me and keeping me safe, I elected to ignore all the little rainbows he sent to me. So there I was, continuing with my new-found “freedom” and uninhibited lifestyle.
I guess everything has a threshold. As a balloon can only stretch that much, a person can only tolerate so much pain. My breakdown point was really Jero. (in a few posts prior) He is such a darling to me that I really didn’t have the strength to envisage the possibility of loosing him so soon. In desperation, I could only think of God to turn to. He was the only One that I could really confide in and pour everything that hurt me all these years. In all candor, it felt really good. It felt like all the weight that had burdened me all this time was suddenly lifted.
All this desolate while, my oasis was right in front of me. I had just blatantly brushed it off as a mirage; turning a blind eye to it. I had my “Miracle” all along. It just took Jero to show it to me.
No, the miracle wasn’t Jero’s recovery. It is God’s steadfast love and endless mercy for me. It is God’s undying affection for a wayward child like me. He is the alpha and the omega that I just didn’t want to see. He did not promise life to be a bed of roses. But he did promise that he’ll be there to carry us all through. Amen.
Related posts
esmondng on July 22nd, 2008
No Expectations
A dear told me some months back: “Do things without expectations, then you wouldn’t be disappointed when you don’t get reciprocal results.” Well, that seemed pretty amazing coming from her. Deliberated, mulled and surmised that it was true. You see, work = force x distance. So going the distance means one would have to work with force in variable extents. If you put in so much effort in something, you’d naturally expect certain returns. If not, you would not have otherwise humanly done it in the first place. As often as we would instead like it, these results can turn out rather dispiriting. Thus to avoid this dampening gloom, not expecting anything in exchange would be our safest bet!
Stuck with that for awhile but soon realized this objective way of doing things was just not mortally possible! The basic fallacy of this statement is it ignores the fact that we are mere flesh and blood; frail and fragile. Any other way to agree otherwise would devoid us of our creatural roots. We are all selfish to some degree or other. Don’t you agree?
How about unconditional Love? The Love of Jesus to His children? The Love of parents to their offsprings? Are we not capable of unconditional Love? Or does it just not really exist in our mundane and secular world? Are self-sacrifice and fairytales just meant for novels and movies? Yet again, some would beg to disagree. I for one would choose to believe. For even cubs to lions mean the world, what less our Loves to we?
Yes, we are self-seeking but also perishable. So why should the nice things we do for people be? Then you ask me: “Summation be, should we expect?”
Esmond’s Very Own Quote for May:
“Give as you would expect receive. And perchance, you’d be surprised with what you tenfold inherit.” ~ © Esmond Ng 09/05/06
Related posts
esmondng on July 22nd, 2008
“My Bubu Dream” by Esmond Ng copyright © 11/08/06
Sugary most not definitely,
Taste if sweetened bifold still lacking.
Why Time still bitter bids me chimera,
When all in alpha was such heavenly.
What more a man can be?
When in dreams his stance airs not his belief.
In reverie when vagary permits,
He chooses silence yet to speak.
They say dreams best for utopian schemes,
Where you are master of all it.
Then why not did I stage a better hit,
Why chose I a tragic love misfit?
I comfort though in succor of relief,
That Thee I glimpsed in beaming bliss.
For this I may never awaken see,
If not my lucid Bubu dream.
Related posts
esmondng on July 22nd, 2008
“I Love You” by Esmond Ng © copyright 03/03/06
These three words most commonly used;
Misused, underused and superfluously accented.
For oft-imagined they only indulged in Lovers’ converse,
Neglected Love of kinships and friends due.
If Fate so callously command should to me,
That next beautiful sunrise again I will never see.
Then let all I adore be told these three,
Lest they cease to ever remember me remember Thee.
For Love be from me to my Parents rightfully,
And Love be to all close or even acquainted me.
Not least be Love to fore Lovers of mine give,
That each did I bare for Thine wholeheartedly.
Did chance not I had to profess all these?
Nay I say, for my actions they preceded me.
Only for moments with me not around to please,
I Love You for moments just like these.
Related posts
esmondng on July 22nd, 2008
What is Love? Each one of us will at one juncture in time ponder over it. Just what is Love? We draw conclusions from movies, friends and social norms. To each his or her own, we come up with our own yardsticks to try and reconcile this quandary. With what extent of certitude have we? To what amount are we unequivocal about Love and its meaning?
I have in my blog, numerous poems and posts regarding what I feel Love is. Yet, I am unsure. I am lost and feeble; vulnerable and nakedly exposed. As sudden as a gust of wind, I recall something which may aptly relate to this common dilemma. In fact, the answer may have existed all along; all through the ages and most of time.
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres”. ~ 1 Corinthians 13:4-7
Related posts
esmondng on July 22nd, 2008
“Flowers” by Esmond Ng © copyright 11/01/06
In colors more varied than rainbows exhibit,
Petals from assortment of flowers they carry.
Like the beauty from which these chromatics due,
Such so is her liking for such colors; such hues.
For she be no favorite of particular bloom,
That all flowers be equal pleasing; receiving too.
I know not her but seems to me she,
In love with flowers than those buzzing around her constantly.
Not to say diddly of her nor just porcelain to view,
Nay don’t get me wrong, you deserve many festoons.
For flowers they belong only to an elegant minority,
And truth be, that you amongst the very few.
I adore the way your companion puts it,
That you be personified beast’s beau.
For most of us categorized as such,
And fittingly that Thee fits beauty’s shoe.
Related posts
esmondng on July 22nd, 2008
“Love should not need” by Esmond Ng © copyright 07/01/06
Words from Thy Heart need not speak,
For tongues unworldly fit deem to say of it.
See need not Love’s eye to sight,
That what you be feeling needn’t show explicit.
Thoughts as such no one seems know,
Less even as to touch your soul.
I beg to differ that it be not the involvement of hands,
That melts what where your true self beats.
Thou longeth for glances candied and delicate lips,
Even memories to warm up and safe keep.
But most of all what your beatings forlorn need,
Is a Love; fairytale ever after to exist.
I be saying all these as same I somewhat agree,
That what you dearly hold on to I can relate honestly.
If kind fate should ever decree favorably,
Too I search what you too seek.
Magical if such Love should indeed extant be,
Doubt I that Thou will really ever should need;
Such speech, sight, mind and senses sweet,
For Love is the only thing needed transcend all these.
No words said but thoughts the other knows,
No visions but the other Thee clearly in head sees.
No tendering touches but still lucidly; felt we.
For Love true should if exist,
All these irrelevant be; we not need.
Related posts
esmondng on July 22nd, 2008
“Forget Me” by Esmond Ng © copyright 11/12/05
Forget you?
Why should I?
For to me you the most pleasant;
Of all my memories present.
Forget you?
And the reason being?
Not that hopes of rekindled feelings hold,
Just as a dear friend I hope still own.
They say:
“Friends are friends forever.”
Ain’t that the way supposed it be?
Then why I feel ostracized and such enmity?
I still do cry out Heavenly One,
Not for Love to come my way.
But for happiness your way,
And all that you wish for to stay.
I may have mistakes made,
Along this lonely path swayed.
But I am just man to err,
Not an excuse but forgiveness please I pray.
At the end of my days,
I still hope to have this memory engraved.
That maybe sweet thoughts of you,
Can keep my beliefs sane.
Oh no, I haven’t changed.
I still believe, I still do keep;
That someday true Love cometh,
This never smooth road runneth.
Then I ask once again.
“Forget me”, “Why?” I say.
For all this searching while for,
A perfect memory I’ve found that day.
Related posts
esmondng on July 22nd, 2008
“The Sixth Sense” by Esmond Ng © copyright 08/12/05
The first being you my eyes see,
That such is sense sweet of sight.
That Love they say blind is,
Nay I say for you not their visions find.
Secondly the serene sound of Thee,
Voice as choir concordant pleasing.
That all who chance hear of such music,
Shall no longer stray but choose near stay it.
Third my nose will first recognize,
That scent of fresh on Thy skin fine.
Which lingers as flowers in Spring,
Luscious I remember will always seem.
That fourth sense of touch never can forget,
The sensations when skins they match.
Cause hearts to beat uncontrollably,
And breaths hastened to the beats.
Only once did our lips meet,
Yet this fifth feeling is forever engraved deep.
The taste of innocent lips,
The pervading taste of Love’s reach.
Such are five senses commonly said,
But one more true that is the sixth.
That the one truth from the heart Love speaks,
Is the one which overrules all the preceding.
Related posts
esmondng on July 22nd, 2008
“This Place” by Esmond Ng © copyright 25/11/05
After all, this was where I first saw you in white angelic.
The place I picked you up from for our first date.
The place I thought I would see the sweetest thing to my eyes each every day.
The place which stayed the one who took my last true love breath away.
At this place I hold much lovely memories but also pain.
That I would hurt someone and disappoint her till this day.
At this place, never the same it will be.
At this place, they soon will tear down; cease to exist.
But at this place, though no longer soon be;
Will stay the same in heart and mind; like you be to me.
For I to you, believe you still say the same;
That you be a holder of past “begone” memories.
Related posts
esmondng on July 22nd, 2008
Had another dear friend who used to leave this as her nick in MSN. “Everyone goes through storms before finding their Rainbows.” (Source: Unknown) I actually quite agree with that statement. Personally, I found it very encouraging and empowering especially if you’re feeling blue.
Then, I realized an exception to this. What happens if you didn’t go through any storms? What happens if you just happen to walk past one after the storms had past? Does it mean it’s any less of a Rainbow?
It’s human to err. More so, it’s human to neglect and take for granted the lovely things and people around us each and every second. Often, we don’t appreciate them until they’re no longer there. Sometimes, we don’t even see them at all!
There are more Rainbows amongst us than we think. A lot of the time, we get so fixated on wanting to make something a Rainbow, we fail to see the apparent ones around us. We get so resolute on creating a miracle with someone or something that we just can’t see the other marvels occurring besides us. Hence, Esmond’s very own quote for November:
“Question: How do you find the prettiest Rainbows?
Answer: By looking past and around them instead.”
~ © Esmond Ng 04/11/05
Related posts
esmondng on July 22nd, 2008
“I Believe” by Esmond Ng © copyright 19/10/05
I believe in Love, true.
I believe in Valentines, everyday.
I believe in Fairytales and “Happily Ever Afters”.
I believe in finding you, someday.
I believe in “Made in Heaven”.
I believe in “Meant to be”.
I believe in Miracles of Fate.
I believe in someday you and me.
I believe in me giving everything.
I believe in you to me will reciprocate.
I believe in both fully giving and taking.
I believe in this, the Love of my Life does await.
I believe in someone believing the same things.
I believe in under this sky blanket we stay.
I believe in you be thinking of what I say.
I believe in true Love; really, someday.
Related posts
esmondng on July 22nd, 2008
“The Disconsolate Angel” by Esmond Ng © copyright 06/10/05
Seemingly beyond consolation you lay,
In your tears hidden by the feigning smile you display.
But bystanders they truly see in Thy angelic grace,
That your rainbow will come soon; hold on to your faith.
Thou art remain strong I pray,
The disconsolate Angel in all so beauty’s allure.
If so really Thou’s soul did die when he went away,
How so the world stays in awe when my eyes set on your face?
For not all will appreciate an Angel image,
Just like an unbeliever to a miracle’s envisage.
Wrong he did to you; you so unfairly perceived,
However wrong then you, because he be the one on losing’s receive.
Sometimes Love not work our way,
It’s been so since man can relate.
Not at all smooth our experiences vouch this journey,
But after each means we are closer to our fairy dreamings.
With every heart-felt pain we take away,
Lessons learned, all of which valuable to assist.
After storms, we then know better what future brings,
And what to avoid when rainbow’s gold at end we see.
Related posts
esmondng on July 22nd, 2008
“Wish you with me” by Esmond Ng © copyright 30/08/05
In glee, my joyous soul longeth for Thee;
To share and savor each victory with Thou art and only.
That each becomes a pleasantly sweet memory,
One which I can in retrospect say: “Ah, I did that with Thee!”
In melancholy, my woeful heart’s voice calls for Thee,
To find solace and comfort when Thee beside me.
That Thou’s assuring voice and hug can be just as sugary,
As ye sunshine smile when I set eyes on my lovely.
Where art Thou when I so pined for Thee?
Where art Thou when moments I so wished spent along my baby?
That I could have so much more pleasing dreamings,
Where art Thou when I wish you with me?
Related posts
esmondng on July 22nd, 2008
“Four Dreams” by Esmond Ng © copyright 30/08/05
The other night you were away,
Out went I, gallivanting amidst boisterous crowds.
Fluttering to music or rather, noises all too loud;
Loneliness did help, aid to plug them out.
How happy you could not see,
My face that moment of message yours I received.
But it must have been noticed my face which gleamed,
For burdened everyone else’s around me.
Seemingly drunk I stammered home,
However fresh your memory I hold untainted close.
That all I can think of is Thee in foreign land remote,
And how far my baby is though under the same moon glow.
After much debate did my eyes actually occlude,
To sleep I thought “Hey, tomorrow will be better posed.”
Serenity tranquil associated to rest not true,
For it seemed my night was terribly consumed.
Four times aroused through the dark slumbers,
Each time I recall, I dreamt of only you.
And once did I cry before from truly forty winks awoke,
How else could my pillow and sheets be soaked?
They say a drunk’s word most honest; it be true,
Wanted to know whose name I’d call if I were juiced.
Wanted to see if in Love really I be with you,
No need an answer now for my seek of candor truth.
For know I this moment where it belongs,
My heart and yearnings; they for you.
At least I fathomed my feelings as honest real,
At least I know now my breath breathes for you.
Related posts
esmondng on July 22nd, 2008
My friend, siLLyeGG wrote the following:
“She” © 17/08/05
She may be the onli one I ever need
Except that she is now wif another kidz
Loving her secretly was not that sweet
In my mind I have feel the heat
Not knowing of what she may thinks
Alone I stay and continue my dream…
-eGG-
No offense but in some way, we share the same dream. In response:
“Having the same dream” by Esmond Ng © copyright 19/08/05
My dream from awaken from slumber sweet,
Yet it be like still in drowse this romantic reverie.
She may be another’s only and ever need;
Else that, however her heart already with me.
Lest I be just some other simpleton kid,
I believe it be more than child’s play that me she fancies.
Not at all secret that Thou’s Love for her scorned in heat,
Agree I, that loving her is no easy feat.
Again reality painfully bites when arisen from sleep,
Not alone you, I too find solace so comforting in dreams.
Deem us Shakespeare’s blinding fools we both be,
Men in Love never really could objectively see.
Else why would He say: “…so is all nature in love mortal in folly.”
Related posts
esmondng on July 22nd, 2008
“Happy Crying” by Esmond Ng © copyright 12/08/05
I know you have seen people crying,
When loved ones they leave.
I know you have seen people crying,
When things don’t move smoothly.
But have you seen people crying,
When loved ones they meet?
But have you seen people crying,
When even if it’s only been few days without each?
Such intense sensations erupted out suddenly,
Like volcanoes dormant no one expected it.
Such happiness shown in uncontrolled crying,
Such only a few would ever know this feeling.
You’d thought such only in movies forth coming.
It impossible that crying be a form of delighting.
Neither did I ever believed in it oxymoronic,
Until myself did I cry when happy and relieved.
Related posts
esmondng on July 22nd, 2008
“How can you not know where It be?” by Esmond Ng © copyright 09/08/05
I remember everything you ever told me,
That examples many I can quote Thee.
How can Thee not know where it be?
That your Heart belongs to who with?
“That sooner or later people will know” shows it.
“That with Thee’s each missing of me” shows it.
“That with you have changed driver” shows it.
“That with each other’s face cringed” shows it.
“With each time you show me to others” proves it.
“With each penguin’s nod agreeing u miss me” proves it.
“With acknowledging already me your new driver” proves it.
“With each lovely and concerned word you speak” proves it.
Each kiss and hug that lands on other each,
Each intimate moment you could not have faked it.
Even to extent for my good Thee wanted to hurt only,
So that I may move on but you suffer silently.
“How can you not know where It be?”
Related posts
sorrie ah. been abit bz these weeks. hehe
