Posts Tagged ‘god’
esmondng on January 11th, 2012
“God works in mysterious ways when you allow Him into our lives. Earlier today I was pummeled by terrible bolts of mood-swings, those sudden moments where all one’s worst recollections congregate in an unannounced cacophony. Perhaps, it’s not something that an uninitiated could readily empathize. To prune, imagine depression in intermittent espresso shots. Just when I felt that it was going to be another dingy day, God squeezed a beaming smile from within me. I was dragging my disparaged spirit back towards office after lunch when I noticed a pram’d Caucasian boy of three thereabouts setting his eyes intently on me. The instant I drew up alongside him, he let out the cutest chuckle ever while waving his bitty hands up at me! His eyes lit up, resembling sparkles on a new year’s eve night. It was like he knew me. It was like God smiling at me through this little darling, reassuring me that He’s got me and everything is alright. I smiled wholeheartedly.” ~ Esmond Ng 11/01/12
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esmondng on January 2nd, 2010
In Loving Memory of Stephanie Tan Lai Chan (23/01/89 – 01/01/10)
“In Memory” by Esmond Ng 02/01/10 © Copyright
I would see you almost every other day,
But yet you, I’d not know beyond your name.
Too few hellos and goodbyes we’d have,
Time too haste, too fast to chase.
We shared too, too little exchanges;
Of hearty smiles and laughter candor.
Of our ups and downs, and cheer and fears.
Fair in times like these never, know not I will ever.
I’d never know how your demeanor,
Of what your friends about you say.
How you’d react to the funny things, I have yet no chance to say.
Know not I will ever, this friend I have yet to truly make.
For our God has chosen for you,
To His bosom side to stay.
And though we’ll all miss you in our each own ways,
We’d like you to know, you were not in vain.
For your memories and image they live on,
In those whom sighted you as you blazed along.
Like a comet gone too soon,
We’ll reminisce till we’re blazed out too.
In three weeks 21 you’d be,
“Happy Birthday, Steph!” to you from me.
A final teary “Goodbye” for now it seems,
Hearts, your family, friends and me.
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esmondng on July 29th, 2008
I grew up in a Christian family and did all the things other Christian kids did. Going to sunday school, joining youth fellowships and trusting God as my Lord and Saviour. Although I was “born” into a Christian family, I genuinely knew for myself that God was real in my life. I ended up getting very involved in the youth worships; playing the guitar and occasionally leading it. Everything seemed to be heading in the right direction. God blessed me tremendously. I did very well in school; getting scholarships, book prizes and the lot. I never had any major catastrophes to deal with. So basically life was all good.
Well in any story, there has got be some twist and turns right? At some point in time my “perfect” family started to crumble. Sparing the details, my sheltered existence took one of the biggest downturns I had ever been accosted with. I started to blame God for everything bad that happened even though I knew he had an infallible plan for us all. Despite that, blaming someone else was always the easiest option. I simply chose to not see his faithfulness carrying me through.
I wanted more than just contend to know that God was there. Becoming defiant, I conveniently turned my back to him. I wanted my own “Miracle” to prove that God still loved me. I would often say: “If you are omnipotent and all knowing, show me a sign. Show me that you are real to me.”
From then on, things got really bad. I dropped out of church and indulged in almost everything unholy and corrupt. To be honest, I haven’t really fully recovered until this day. Although I knew deep down that God was always watching me and keeping me safe, I elected to ignore all the little rainbows he sent to me. So there I was, continuing with my new-found “freedom” and uninhibited lifestyle.
I guess everything has a threshold. As a balloon can only stretch that much, a person can only tolerate so much pain. My breakdown point was really Jero. (in a few posts prior) He is such a darling to me that I really didn’t have the strength to envisage the possibility of loosing him so soon. In desperation, I could only think of God to turn to. He was the only One that I could really confide in and pour everything that hurt me all these years. In all candor, it felt really good. It felt like all the weight that had burdened me all this time was suddenly lifted.
All this desolate while, my oasis was right in front of me. I had just blatantly brushed it off as a mirage; turning a blind eye to it. I had my “Miracle” all along. It just took Jero to show it to me.
No, the miracle wasn’t Jero’s recovery. It is God’s steadfast love and endless mercy for me. It is God’s undying affection for a wayward child like me. He is the alpha and the omega that I just didn’t want to see. He did not promise life to be a bed of roses. But he did promise that he’ll be there to carry us all through. Amen.
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esmondng on July 22nd, 2008
“Tea Leaves” by Esmond Ng 12/05/05 © copyright
Away on slopes of different air,
Where ye painting on wall is really nature’s own;
Mountains line the pearly clouds,
That’s where my tea leaves grows’t.
The green that edges ye horizon,
The vast color of which serene grown;
Yet with each harvest that comes along,
Only the top leaves nonpareil.
Grey be by name my favorite tea,
Though woody and spicy it’s taste be;
Equivalent I say, it be Shiraz of tea,
But pleasure to palate it surely brings to Thee.
Like all good things Life which brings,
Thou needs really look beyond to see.
Appreciating the simple and ordinary,
Then and only pick the top few leaves.
Along midway sometimes grey it all seems,
Everything so looks going agains’t Thee.
Did I mention no rose beds amongs’t the leaves?
Hold on tight and God’s peace keep.
Even the best are cropp’d and trimm’d,
But like tea leaves they never cease;
Seasons, grows’t and flourishes once again.
So really, should Thee.
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esmondng on July 22nd, 2008
I once read this on my brothers blog:
A man walked in to the hairdressers to get his hair cut. After the cut he commented: Thats a very nice cut! He paid and left. Before leaving the barber said: Of course, Im a good barber. On his way out, the customer saw a dirty beggar by the street with long unkempt hair. He immediately turned back into the saloon and told the barber: You are not a good barber. If you were, the man outside would have his hair cut! The barber replied: Oh yes, Im a good barber. If the man comes to me, Id definitely have cut his hair. Similarly, its not that God does not exist. But rather, only people who dont go to Him.
Source: Unknown
I need my haircut soon.
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esmondng on July 22nd, 2008
“Life is not measured by the number of breaths you take. But by the moments that take your breath away.” Source: Unknown
How true. The overlooking view from the top of a subdued mountain. The serenity of nature. The first time your kite took flight. When first you heard “Daddy” from your child. The smiles you drew from your loved ones. The times you cherish together. The very love and mercy of God. How many times have you had your breath taken away this week? Remember them, for they are what you really live for.
911-Sept, 11. A special dedication towards the families, friends and loved ones of all those who were lost but now are found; in His loving hands. May God keep those who still hurt in His abundant love and grace. Amen. And till all wounds are healed, remember “your moments”.
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esmondng on July 22nd, 2008
SEE THE MIRACLES
The man whispered. “God, speak to me.”
And a bird sang.
But the man did not hear.
So the man yelled, “God, speak to me.”
And the thunder rolled across the sky.
But the man did not listen.
The man looked around and said, “God, let me see you.”
And a star shined brightly.
But the man did not see.
And, the man shouted, “God show me a miracle.”
And a life was born.
But the man did not notice.
So the man cried out in despair, “Touch me God, and let me know you are here.”
Then, God reached down and touched the man. But the man brushed the butterfly away and walked on.
Source: Unknown
I found this to be a great reminder that God is always around us in the little and simple things that we take for granted.
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