My Pseudo Lover

“My Pseudo Lover” by Esmond Ng 30/08/12 © Copyright

We met, the unlikeliest of places in,
Over periwinkles and happily ever-afters.
You laughed initially, at the girl of dreams my,
But soon you saw, what really meant I.

We coupled, our fixations shared,
Remote and absurd but our inhibitions bared.
You suggested we chat and did we,
A bee to flower it soon daily be.

We dreamt of each other funny,
For never met had we.
And we heard each other’s soul acutely,
Though our voices, too had not we.

I became your morning addiction,
And you, I didn’t make known, became mine.
I wrote you poems and messages sweet,
Some that made you tingled, multiply.

We made Love, cuddled and caressed,
Through our thoughts and words unclad.
We made Love on our minds’ ends,
The longings we couldn’t repress.

I had thought we should have next stepped,
I had thought we both were ready.
But guesses me over Sunday no not maybe,
That sure, my Pseudo Lover isn’t yet she.

Now she distanced seems,
My fault, I keep blaming me.
Why the haste so,
Why stupidly did I do, what did me.

She dilemmas over us,
And rightly so should she.
As in her mind reruns our memories,
So I too, her pinky promises to me.

Rereading our writings umpteenly,
Unknowingly attached have become me.
And all this while I tried to steal pieces of your heart,
You had already taken mine completely.

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My Bubu Dream

“My Bubu Dream” by Esmond Ng copyright © 11/08/06

Sugary most not definitely,
Taste if sweetened bifold still lacking.
Why Time still bitter bids me chimera,
When all in alpha was such heavenly.

What more a man can be?
When in dreams his stance airs not his belief.
In reverie when vagary permits,
He chooses silence yet to speak.

They say dreams best for utopian schemes,
Where you are master of all it.
Then why not did I stage a better hit,
Why chose I a tragic love misfit?

I comfort though in succor of relief,
That Thee I glimpsed in beaming bliss.
For this I may never awaken see,
If not my lucid Bubu dream.

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“The Slumber Baby”

“The Slumber Baby” by Esmond Ng © copyright 05/02/06

Was cruising on the expressway last dark,
Soft the radio croons my favorite tunes.
There on not my right but left be,
A slumber baby midst in her dreams.

Were they sweet saccharine sugary?
The cloudland I pray not too cloyingly.
For revel I in her faerie form in silent sleep,
Not to wake but in still repose I enjoy see.

Admit I that lonely the drive not be,
For alongside me a little slumber baby.
And those stolen glances occasionally at she,
That the journey no longer seems a journey.

Such enchanting company; the slumber baby.

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Four Dreams

“Four Dreams” by Esmond Ng © copyright 30/08/05

The other night you were away,
Out went I, gallivanting amidst boisterous crowds.
Fluttering to music or rather, noises all too loud;
Loneliness did help, aid to plug them out.

How happy you could not see,
My face that moment of message yours I received.
But it must have been noticed my face which gleamed,
For burdened everyone else’s around me.

Seemingly drunk I stammered home,
However fresh your memory I hold untainted close.
That all I can think of is Thee in foreign land remote,
And how far my baby is though under the same moon glow.

After much debate did my eyes actually occlude,
To sleep I thought “Hey, tomorrow will be better posed.”
Serenity tranquil associated to rest not true,
For it seemed my night was terribly consumed.

Four times aroused through the dark slumbers,
Each time I recall, I dreamt of only you.
And once did I cry before from truly forty winks awoke,
How else could my pillow and sheets be soaked?

They say a drunk’s word most honest; it be true,
Wanted to know whose name I’d call if I were juiced.
Wanted to see if in Love really I be with you,
No need an answer now for my seek of candor truth.

For know I this moment where it belongs,
My heart and yearnings; they for you.
At least I fathomed my feelings as honest real,
At least I know now my breath breathes for you.

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Having the same dream

My friend, siLLyeGG wrote the following:

“She” © 17/08/05
She may be the onli one I ever need
Except that she is now wif another kidz
Loving her secretly was not that sweet
In my mind I have feel the heat
Not knowing of what she may thinks
Alone I stay and continue my dream…
-eGG-

No offense but in some way, we share the same dream. In response:

“Having the same dream” by Esmond Ng © copyright 19/08/05

My dream from awaken from slumber sweet,
Yet it be like still in drowse this romantic reverie.
She may be another’s only and ever need;
Else that, however her heart already with me.
Lest I be just some other simpleton kid,
I believe it be more than child’s play that me she fancies.
Not at all secret that Thou’s Love for her scorned in heat,
Agree I, that loving her is no easy feat.
Again reality painfully bites when arisen from sleep,
Not alone you, I too find solace so comforting in dreams.
Deem us Shakespeare’s blinding fools we both be,
Men in Love never really could objectively see.
Else why would He say: “…so is all nature in love mortal in folly.”

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More than Dreams

“More than Dreams” by Esmond Ng © copyright 13/07/05

Dreams be to most snapping back into reality,
That with each dawning bright, ideas of wish fade into dark.
My mind often hear things with sensitivity,
So obscure it may seem like such idle dreams.

Do I really pick up any of Thy subtlety?
Hidden in simple art of word pictures see?
Or it be just plain foolishness on me,
To hold on these sands of Time; slipping through open fingers quickly.

Still stubbornness and wishfully tight I hold my grip,
Not wanting go my own fantasy dream.
Till this day feel that God would have kinder to me,
No goodbyes; that His grace could have shown through your sweet company.

“I can only dream” what Thee makes of it,
More than dreams I still pray that Thee revert decisions please.
For I know I’d treasure this silly love theme,
Even though it may just be another of my dawning dreams.

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Here I’d be

“Here I’d be” by Esmond Ng 02/06/05 © copyright

No need for that,
Sorry a word not meant this way.
Thee had not done to me on purpose,
Not Thy fault what of me that hurts.

For in Love this I can say true,
That no right or wrong can define to.
Thus if Thou truly be happy,
What sorry is need’d from Thee?

If any at all blame be needy,
Then it should be me to shoulder all it.
For I give my every in heart too easily,
When I encounter someone so worthy.

It be not deceitfully contriv’d,
For I would not pain for myself had plann’d it.
But of nature’s course I genuine did,
Fall head over heels so badly indeed.

Though I say these all with prose poetic,
Every word single I mean sincere herein.
Addition, not to make Thee guilty,
For that is last I want to achieve;
Surely, more pains’t to me if I knew it.

If, ever, if one day, Thee finds’t different.
That your heart would start beat for me,
I would hear and here I’d be.
If Thee feels ever such feelings,
Please, run to me.

For present, it be enough for me;
To know that all is well for Thee.
That in my dreams I can also rest easy;
Sweet and sugary I too want clos’d eyelids see.

I tell you actually,
That each before dreams I’d be,
Praying secretly, everything smooth for Thee.
That not hurt nor frown ever win,
The chirpy laughter I remember so clearly.

And till that if ever day ever really occurs,
I’d be cheering you on, as a friend so dearly.
For if aid Thee should require of me,
You can trust your good friend here,
Here I’d be.

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Saga Seeds

“Saga Seeds” by Esmond Ng © copyright 04/05/05

I thinks’t of thee from time to time,
Wonder if at times, I cross’d thy mind?
Even in dreams, thee appears.
Sometimes however good or bad,
Is still as sweet a dream can be.

Dreams be the only place I can see.
Now that live I unaccustom’d without thee;
Ye only place which sweet be to me.
Yes, I think back to places where we’d be.
Yes, they are such lip-lifting memories.

Like Saga Seeds which thinks’t of begone acts,
Something which we both can attest;
Relish of sentiments past and gone,
A trait that you wouldn’t not understand.

Thus pray I to thee, blame not be unto me.
For it is in genuine me,
To thinks’t and not forget thee.

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Fairytale

“Fairytale” by Esmond Ng 27/03/05 © copyright

Once a time upon, grew a boy on tales;
of dragons slain’d and maidens rescu’d.
As of age he grew, traveled far in vain,
never found the tale he knew.

From lofty to dishearten’d did time prove,
soon abandon’d his search for his truth.
Norms became his norms
and dreams became standstill.

Then fate chanced upon him,
as sudden as floods on boxing due.
Heard of a princess,
distress could be still.

Awaken’d from deep slumber the knight arose,
remembering every aspiration and dream instilled.
Rode like wind, conquere’d all adversities till.
Like all written fairytales, happily ever after;
what he always knew.

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