Archive for the ‘Negative’ Category
esmondng on July 22nd, 2008
“Worst Times?” by Esmond Ng 15/12/06 © copyright
When ye skies full grey,
Think your days shadow’d dismay.
Blurr’d sorrow will not let see,
Your eyes to heaven’s sun rays.
For hidden they be,
Behind cloudy bearings they’ll surface.
Of light, of hope, and do await;
The sky is never gloom stays.
If pours from it Love as tempestuous,
Like tears from which stream Thy face.
If not for such solemn toilsome winds,
Would Thou see the betters of they?
May rainbows much exceedingly,
Sought itself to please to surface.
After the sheets of brief, grief rain,
Betters after each every pain.
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esmondng on July 22nd, 2008
From personal experience too,
“We always hurt more than others for we are the someone else in our own shoes.” ~ © Esmond Ng 01/02/06
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esmondng on July 22nd, 2008
“This Place” by Esmond Ng © copyright 25/11/05
After all, this was where I first saw you in white angelic.
The place I picked you up from for our first date.
The place I thought I would see the sweetest thing to my eyes each every day.
The place which stayed the one who took my last true love breath away.
At this place I hold much lovely memories but also pain.
That I would hurt someone and disappoint her till this day.
At this place, never the same it will be.
At this place, they soon will tear down; cease to exist.
But at this place, though no longer soon be;
Will stay the same in heart and mind; like you be to me.
For I to you, believe you still say the same;
That you be a holder of past “begone” memories.
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esmondng on July 22nd, 2008
“Your Promise” by Esmond Ng © copyright 30/08/05
Your promise to me, I cling on dearly;
Like a babe’s insecurity away from His mother’s embracing peace.
Your promise to me, I wish realized daily;
That each second passes, I die more so gradually.
In song, quando when Thee be mine?
Quando tornerete? My moments a day, my days truly a lifetime.
For in song seems improbable this relation be,
But in Life this be my soul song that sings.
When He simile’d that each thought of Thee a flower be,
That He then a garden could have beautiful and big.
I tell Thee this: “That my garden no smaller than His,”
“That my garden gardened duly due to Thee.”
I thinks’t not any little less of my baby,
Not today, these days or what tomorrow be.
That added frownings I want not for Thee,
Thus back to my secret garden I wait admirably;
My garden kept watered by your promise to me.
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esmondng on July 22nd, 2008
“Happy Crying” by Esmond Ng © copyright 12/08/05
I know you have seen people crying,
When loved ones they leave.
I know you have seen people crying,
When things don’t move smoothly.
But have you seen people crying,
When loved ones they meet?
But have you seen people crying,
When even if it’s only been few days without each?
Such intense sensations erupted out suddenly,
Like volcanoes dormant no one expected it.
Such happiness shown in uncontrolled crying,
Such only a few would ever know this feeling.
You’d thought such only in movies forth coming.
It impossible that crying be a form of delighting.
Neither did I ever believed in it oxymoronic,
Until myself did I cry when happy and relieved.
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esmondng on July 22nd, 2008
“Treasure Before Lost” by Esmond Ng © copyright 11/08/05
They say: “Why do people treasure things only after they lose it?”
May it be the missings during lonely moments?
May it be the memories so sweet brought back?
Perhaps even the familiarity of not having what used to be about?
Why then do people complain about those not already there?
Why then do people lament about things already sunk and gone?
But do they not see the after; what may in future store?
The subsequent treasures that may come forth?
I say to them: “Why treasure what’s already gone, already lost?”
What’s the use of saying treasure only after forgone?
Why not treasure what’s here and now?
What’s truly right in front of you that still is around;
And not turn into another treasure only after gone.
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esmondng on July 22nd, 2008
“Fireworks” by Esmond Ng © copyright 09/08/05
I’m sorry my promise I couldn’t see with Thee,
The symphony of Fireworks that Thee so wanted so fancied.
Owing to circumstances I know both we can’t foresee,
I truly wanted it to be ours; our uniquely memory.
But Thee so chose to give to another this our memory,
That He may not even appreciate; just to entertain not genuinely.
Though with elseone Thee had viewed the colorings momentarily,
I wonder who be on Thy mind when Thee beheld the spectacle see?
My glimpse from afar though same as Thee’s,
My head under the same lit sky night really far away be.
I don’t know, I wonder what really;
But my foolish thinking that on Thee’s mind be me.
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esmondng on July 22nd, 2008
“How can you not know where It be?” by Esmond Ng © copyright 09/08/05
I remember everything you ever told me,
That examples many I can quote Thee.
How can Thee not know where it be?
That your Heart belongs to who with?
“That sooner or later people will know” shows it.
“That with Thee’s each missing of me” shows it.
“That with you have changed driver” shows it.
“That with each other’s face cringed” shows it.
“With each time you show me to others” proves it.
“With each penguin’s nod agreeing u miss me” proves it.
“With acknowledging already me your new driver” proves it.
“With each lovely and concerned word you speak” proves it.
Each kiss and hug that lands on other each,
Each intimate moment you could not have faked it.
Even to extent for my good Thee wanted to hurt only,
So that I may move on but you suffer silently.
“How can you not know where It be?”
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esmondng on July 22nd, 2008
“2 Days Without Sleep” by Esmond Ng © copyright 09/08/05
It be not 2 days without winks that is tiring,
Neither it be yawning nor aches that wear me; toll-ings.
But is with each second of wide-eyed awakenings,
That my missings for Thee that is killing.
I turn and toss without my mind stop pondering,
How it wrongs to be this way that should move in.
That not to sleep not owing to not physically draining,
But to heartaches and longings that my body is not sleeping.
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esmondng on July 22nd, 2008
“Half-Past Midnight” by Esmond Ng © copyright 09/08/05
Half-Past Midnight, a time I look forward to every night recently;
When I stay glued to wait for Thee’s voice on other line so religiously.
That when retrospectively think back of these,
How many lovely nights did we chat away in secrecy?
Now that Thee is somewhat further away, snatched from me;
Does it mean that I wait not for Thee’s voice same time each lonely dark be?
Nay, I tell Thee I still do the same for now and eternity,
As long as I deem it all to be worth it; with no regrets live.
Even now it’s be somewhat long past it,
I long and pray even for a short message to make it sweet.
That each gloomy sky without hearing your voice gentle callings,
How then can you expect that I “Please to bed early”?
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esmondng on July 22nd, 2008
“What Melts Your Heart” © copyright 07/08/2005 Esmond Ng
My voice, an abysmal void till an appreciated ear that heard.
The song which from my withins touched when lovers’ hearts grown.
Lest it be another day, another 24 hours that will toil,
My voice, seemingly grows weak and frail when thee not by me close.
Melts your heart, my voice over song I was told;
Melts the very depths of thy all so tired and lost now rekindled soul.
What really at work is not my voice as commoners so perceived,
But is the Love from both that this voice can do its magic deed.
That this bonding between us should so unjustly be thrown; away to cold.
That which thee takes your belongings too took my very soul.
Along with it my voice, bits and pieces of me,
Are thrown on hard floor, my poor old glass heart again shattered and broke.
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esmondng on July 22nd, 2008
“More than Dreams” by Esmond Ng © copyright 13/07/05
Dreams be to most snapping back into reality,
That with each dawning bright, ideas of wish fade into dark.
My mind often hear things with sensitivity,
So obscure it may seem like such idle dreams.
Do I really pick up any of Thy subtlety?
Hidden in simple art of word pictures see?
Or it be just plain foolishness on me,
To hold on these sands of Time; slipping through open fingers quickly.
Still stubbornness and wishfully tight I hold my grip,
Not wanting go my own fantasy dream.
Till this day feel that God would have kinder to me,
No goodbyes; that His grace could have shown through your sweet company.
“I can only dream” what Thee makes of it,
More than dreams I still pray that Thee revert decisions please.
For I know I’d treasure this silly love theme,
Even though it may just be another of my dawning dreams.
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esmondng on July 22nd, 2008
“The 166” by Esmond Ng © copyright 09/07/05
It’s all at variance; the feeling now after ye move.
166 a place dear now seems so at ease.
Leisurely seated on the blue-tiled stool as writing these,
For depart’d fear of chance you’d see my doing this.
Not ever hoped I that I may glimpse of Thee,
Nor ever dreamt that my sight would cross with Thee’s.
But solace seeking and relish that I stay here,
Near my very own yellow-signed love story.
Even though Thou’s shadow has shifted expectedly,
More of a memory, a picture frame in mind it hath left me.
Yes, it may look silly or crazy some have deem’d.
To this special place frequent I still constantly.
The taint’d white cat cuddles up next to me,
As if it knows me, of my solitary misery.
Occasionally it steals glances; those that pierce right through the soul,
It be like saying: “Easy, I feel for you for I the same fate be.”
Still my thoughts would often play cruel tricks on me.
Thinking how nice it would be if all can restart from time on bridge.
For then, it would still feel like an eternity;
An eternity so perfect in fairy dreams.
How heart-wrenching that sound of bus should pull alongside me,
Snapping me out of my own world; this world of poetic release.
So as light breeze this night ends this week abruptly,
My leaving likened to Enya’s “Deora Ar Mo Chroi”;
“Tears Of My Heart” it sings indeed.
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esmondng on July 22nd, 2008
“The different same old bridge” by Esmond Ng 18/05/05 © copyright
Walk’d back to the all so familiar bridge.
Today it seems gloomy, might may drizzle rain due.
Stopp’d and sat on the same damp seat,
Today it really be different, the same old bridge.
The entire arvo I did spend by the bay,
Waiting for sights so well I knew.
But never did my eagle appear,
Nor my differing poles look pretty still.
People that jostl’d, travelers fearless of ye heaven’s tears.
Flashes that capture memories, all were in use.
Even a newly wed, in angelic whites brave’d;
The rain, which fell on me only feel.
Time on bridge which for we still’d;
Had left my side like which you did too.
Time, no longer a friend on ye lovely bridge.
For grey turned to darks’t and day to night’s way gave.
Nay, the different same old bridge did not stand still.
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esmondng on July 22nd, 2008
“My Diary” by Esmond Ng © copyright 17/05/05
I have a diary.
Which I write of things I can’t express here.
My inner most thoughts and feelings I unreservedly explicit.
Of which many are glum and melancholy.
I have a diary.
It be where my solace is.
For no other can relate to me; the way it can, truly.
Experiences, my journal; my life story.
If Heaven so decree and unkind be,
Let me make my final entry.
Then let the world be made known,
That this be my best work yet.
For the essence of my diary,
Is really what my Life means.
That no word in existence more appropriate,
Describe what Pain be.
So is this end of road for me?
If so really, pray do read my diary.
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esmondng on July 22nd, 2008
These are some negative quotes I plucked off the net. Best read and forgotten. Warning: They are not meant to be inspirational or taken seriously!
“Those who do not remember the past are condemned to repeat it.” — George Santayana
“The light at the end of the tunnel is the headlamp of an oncoming train.” — unknown
“That’s the remarkable thing about life. No matter how bad it gets it can always get worse.” -Calvin
“Just when you think you’ve finally hit bottom, someone tosses you a shovel.” — unknown
“People will believe anything if you whisper it.” — unknown
“If everything seems to be going well, you obviously don’t know what the hell is going on.” — Murphy’s Laws
“When everything’s coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.” — unknown
“When things are perfect, that’s when you need to worry most.” — Drew Barrymore
“Today is the tommorow you dreaded yesterday.” — unknown
“Nobody’s pain hurts worse than your own.” — ‘Munky’ James Schaffer
“Anything good in life is either illegal, immoral or fattening.” — unknown
“Every one is guilty of all the good they didn’t do.” — Voltaire
“We tell you over and over again how wonderful and special you are and you just don’t get it! What’s wrong with you?!?” — Helen Morgandorfer ‘Daria’
“I’m not in denial. I’m just selective about the reality i choose to accept” -Calvin and Hobbes
“The hardest battle you’re ever going to fight is the battle just to be you.” — unknown
“Don’t ever slam a door. You might want to go back.” — unknown
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esmondng on July 22nd, 2008
“Life goes on?” by Esmond Ng 04/05/05 © copyright
Life goes on.
Although my heart stops beating,
And the twenty seven stars shine not.
Life goes on, it’s intriguing.
If indeed Life is of living,
Then mine is surely lie.
For what is One, where there is no meaning?
When every worth living has stopped shining.
I’ve tried, really have tried I.
It be not ease I assure thee.
For if case be, this I would not write.
But Life goes on.
I will survive and carry on.
Or say that just so cheat thyself.
For this juncture so seems
That Life does goes on without going on.
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esmondng on July 22nd, 2008
“Dead without having dying” by Esmond Ng 04/04/05 © copyright
My heart beats, yet I’m not of the living.
I’ve breath but it be not air I breathe.
Tears soak which my face yet not I’m crying.
Then why so am I still living?
Everywhere the world moving,
why feel I my world has crashed in?
If a smile future be on my face,
would thou think it be called smiling?
If be true special one me,
why has thou forsaken thee?
A friend I have in Him?
Why too He has left me?
My poet favorite did, say of Love smooth not running,
never did I comprehend thee, that he be truth is speaking.
Living but yet not living;
Dead without having dying.
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