“God works in mysterious ways when you allow Him into our lives. Earlier today I was pummeled by terrible bolts of mood-swings, those sudden moments where all one’s worst recollections congregate in an unannounced cacophony. Perhaps, it’s not something that an uninitiated could readily empathize. To prune, imagine depression in intermittent espresso shots. Just when I felt that it was going to be another dingy day, God squeezed a beaming smile from within me. I was dragging my disparaged spirit back towards office after lunch when I noticed a pram’d Caucasian boy of three thereabouts setting his eyes intently on me. The instant I drew up alongside him, he let out the cutest chuckle ever while waving his bitty hands up at me! His eyes lit up, resembling sparkles on a new year’s eve night. It was like he knew me. It was like God smiling at me through this little darling, reassuring me that He’s got me and everything is alright. I smiled wholeheartedly.” ~ Esmond Ng 11/01/12

“Missing you like Crazy is an Understatement”
~ © Esmond Ng 06/01/12

So I’ve been told, a forest of Rainbows.
One of which to canter through, outstretched,
My arms would I its colored branches catch?
And perhaps its palette tinct would all my lows.
Or would I choose instead to amble,
Perceive each seven as if deliberate in order?
Feel every warmth of every hue with my eyes shut gently,
My head slowly, circularly rolls, onto my back, resting.
I may not know where I at within,
This forest but would I care at all this place in, better.
For I can smile at here the indelible memories,
Perchance its cast of blushes would in future bring me more.

“But a couple’s kiss destines their future.” ~ © Esmond Ng 27/12/11

“In-between those hustles in Life, I sometimes afford a snap of idle rumination, where things around me would slow, gradually, to a crawl, and just before anchoring to that irreversible still, I see. I see clearly what has passed, as if it were flashing in front of the now moored inactivity. Not I one who perfect-bethinks of my battered past, but more of an inability to remove myself from my aggrieved. When only in such allayed mood would I lose control and regret that breather of initially. What have I done or did not possibly? That time actually kills me, ironically, muffled from its chase, however impossible by this inasmuch logic. It is in such that while quietly wasting away, I think of you. That my disconnecting moments, they belong to you. And I realize, not least bewildered, that it is all I do these days. Then I wait. I wait for time to flinch again.” ~ © Esmond Ng 22/12/11

It’s been an awful long time since last engaged we,
But that doesn’t mean our friendship to any less.
Still remember I thee as that lovely girl I first eyed,
Oh what joy, youthful infatuations from my past.

Thank you for creating that pivotal point in my Life,
And a juncture that I visit every now every then.
Say so today as I would have back then,
Ay, thy cherry lips and skin fair as palely ice.

Nae man can tether time or tide,
All’s gone are but memories which I treasure hold tight.
Irrevocably, my days more colored for met I you,
So fate and fortune decreed I met thee in my time.

“‎On afterthoughts, I’d amongst them leave you so all will see that even they, pale in comparison to thee.” ~ © Esmond Ng 14/12/11

“‎I would I were the cheek upon thy hand, the man within thy eyes and the kisses upon thy lips.” ~ © Esmond Ng 05/12/11

I am antithetic not from Autumn leaves,
When my season arrives, too I wilt, fall and fade.
But I have felt the magic of Spring and warmth of Summer,
And through Winter I will remember Thee.

“I’m just constantly looking forward to the next thing that would occupy my mind. What do I do in the seconds in between?”
~ © Esmond Ng 03/11/11

“Lean not on my own understanding? In foremost, what do I even understand?” ~ © Esmond Ng 03/11/11

It breaks yet it mends.
It distresses while it soothes.
It evokes pain but dishes comfort.
It I love to hate and hate to love.

Would stand and see as pleased,
Beyond the wall of mountains sat,
There a scene took daily of,
Would it be something, that?

Eyes on Me (from Final Fantasy VIII)

How it ends who’s to know?
It as bleak as those in May.
But if I choose I might I may,
To end in hands holding I pray.

For my Life all long searched,
Such a fairy end I’d gladly take.
And Thou if believeth what we said,
Then this end may I with Thee make?

Long-Married Couple Gordon Yeager And Norma Yeager Pass Away Holding Hands

There can be no sadder than these notes,
For all the sad they were too once the glad.
On every change I feel my breath hard to catch,
And with each blown, my eyes they well with them.

A Time For Us – Nino Rota, 1969

“If I only had one answer to your all your questions,
it’ll be ‘every single day’.”
~ © Esmond Ng 19/10/11

“I can wait forever because I know you are my forever.”
~ © Esmond Ng 11/10/11

They say Lovers’ hearts are connected,
Do you concur with they?
That one would feel the other’s pain,
Do you are you the same?

For this now shattering falling apart each worse than the last,
With every new day’s curse exponentially crushed.
Ceteris paribus but yet the air I feel thinning,
And how my breathing’s choking my own breathing.

In my silent screams I jerk sometimes looking up to see,
Nothing but what blur a person drowning might glimpse.
Beneath the salty sea of tears my head would downwards quiver,
Forms but another sea of which for me to go under.

I look into the mirror but all is your face in it,
And it hurts for me to see you in such manner.
But it’s my own crinkled lips and clatter of teeth that’s here,
My convulsions you go through too I wonder?

I love you and you said,
Each time I said you’d miss a beat.
How can something so right be so wrong,
That you’ll bear for me to give away?

You have on my chest rested and heard,
That it beats for you too surely.
And in my embrace you have felt,
The world of you in me.

How am I supposed to live without you,
When you take the reason my heart beats away?
How am I supposed to live,
If my world would cease without you to exist?

This whole ballad was written drenched,
And I can hardly see what was penned.
But every word was coughed out,
Amidst the breaths I tried to catch.

There is hardly any more beautiful,
Than waves that return.
To kiss the very shore it loves,
After each it’s sent away.

I know that at times things may beyond me be,
And none I can do but wish you smiles and better than me.
But if we are as magically linked as we both agreed,
My Queen, surely you can feel this.
Surely you can feel this.

I screamed but I heard no yells,
I drowned but yet I breathe,
I burned but even hell not wants me,
I died but then I live.

“It is only in hurt that you know something is real.”
~ © Esmond Ng 30/09/11