Beloved Family & Friends, Thank You

“Beloved family & friends, Thank you.” by Esmond Ng & Ashley Yong 15/07/17 © Copyright

Beloved family & friends, Thank you.
For sincere blessings and ear-to-ear smiles,
Your heartiest laughter and merriment abound.
This day, not due us but you have helped shaped,
Our lives in some way, some part you played.
You believed in us, even partnered our crimes,
When you didn’t, you indulged us still, though, anyway, anyhow.
You sheltered us withal when we were weak,
Now indelible your auspice on we strong.
And for that, we can never thank you enough,
Thank you, our favourite people, our true love found.

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Goodbye Yeye (30/05/1912 – 24/05/2016)

Yeye

“Goodbye Yeye” by Esmond Ng 24/05/2016 © Copyright

As I watched the air drawing its breath from you,
I leaned in and told you “I love you,” twice.
Like a fulfilled battery stilling a needle hand,
My goodbye was halted unexpectedly.
Whilst the heat on your cheeks left coordinately haste,
I gently lifted your head and ran my comb through your already neat whites.
No longer would I be pushing you to the hairdresser’s now;
No longer would I get to see your mirrored smiles.
I write as though I loved you so,
But truth be your love for me much more.
Though I gazed only upon the candled cake,
Yours was always only on my face.
Thank you Yeye for bearing me this thirty-seven years with,
And for loving me unconditionally.

~ Ah Mond

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My Pseudo Lover

“My Pseudo Lover” by Esmond Ng 30/08/12 © Copyright

We met, the unlikeliest of places in,
Over periwinkles and happily ever-afters.
You laughed initially, at the girl of dreams my,
But soon you saw, what really meant I.

We coupled, our fixations shared,
Remote and absurd but our inhibitions bared.
You suggested we chat and did we,
A bee to flower it soon daily be.

We dreamt of each other funny,
For never met had we.
And we heard each other’s soul acutely,
Though our voices, too had not we.

I became your morning addiction,
And you, I didn’t make known, became mine.
I wrote you poems and messages sweet,
Some that made you tingled, multiply.

We made Love, cuddled and caressed,
Through our thoughts and words unclad.
We made Love on our minds’ ends,
The longings we couldn’t repress.

I had thought we should have next stepped,
I had thought we both were ready.
But guesses me over Sunday no not maybe,
That sure, my Pseudo Lover isn’t yet she.

Now she distanced seems,
My fault, I keep blaming me.
Why the haste so,
Why stupidly did I do, what did me.

She dilemmas over us,
And rightly so should she.
As in her mind reruns our memories,
So I too, her pinky promises to me.

Rereading our writings umpteenly,
Unknowingly attached have become me.
And all this while I tried to steal pieces of your heart,
You had already taken mine completely.

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One Lone Sheen

“One Lone Sheen” by Esmond Ng 28/07/12 © Copyright

Lustering up over heads,
Brightest only in the pitchiest dark nights.
You are like them, then again not,
As none near dazzling as Thee.

And though today be gayly bliss’d,
I’m sure a day aphotic and inky it is.
For I see as my head I lift,
Just one lovely, one lone sheen.

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Henry Ng (08/08/1947 – 03/04/2012)

Dad and I

Dad and I

“Henry Ng” by Esmond Ng 24/05/2016 © Copyright

We had a few scares quite before this,
Nurses call’d to quick, come him see quick.
The alert, this time, follows through,
His breath last, my Dad into Heaven pass’d.

I thought prepar’d was I was,
For he’d defi’d death 3 years elong.
When all had predict’d life of year half in him,
What more, how longer much could we have entreat?

But I was wrong.
Whether foreknown or abrupt it comes,
Nothing prepares you for a kin’s repose,
Nothing gets you ready for your blood’s loss.

I didn’t cry; not then.
I told myself a relationship we hadn’t had.
Maybe he was never there, or maybe Love I had never felt,
Maybe it was something I had conjur’d, had made up.

But he was there when I was born,
Beaming ear to other, holding me in his arms.
He was there when took I my steps first,
And words utter’d in such random firsts.

He held me up to God at the Baptism service,
He’d probably too was first, to for me tears shed.
He was there to help with all my childhood cake candles,
And he was there when mom came cane-charging choler.

Dad was there, how not manag’d to see I it?
Heck, he was there at my first dental visit!
He was the first to put a hanky in my pocket, something which I still do carry,
He had even taught me to ride my red bicycle at our very first picnic.

You should have seen him when topp’d I my class,
Or when he boast’d to others my horrid guitar strums.
All would know if I did anything well, relatives and neighbors,
Why didn’t I make him more proud, just a little more proud?

When I bought my bike verboten, he shook his head and got me a car,
When I bump’d it, he never once accomplish’d a single sound.
He sav’d on everything but not on me did,
Flight’d me away to Aussie for studies, Crikey! Indeed.

Even when we fought and shout’d at other each,
Nothing ever stay’d sour’d for very long.
He provid’d and gave but never asked for return anything,
He gave me his Love, how could I not have notic’d?

We did a number of things together, together,
From karaoke to washing the car to hitting the gym strong.
How did we end up like this, distanc’d and dissociat’d?
Why hadn’t I, had not effort put in enough?

Retrospect, surely our relationship, not estrang’d,
I seem mistaken, he was there no doubting it.
His actions ensu’d no reason other but Love,
Least I forget, Dad was Dad all along.

I bet there’s way more he did than I can here in speech,
And now he’s gone, I cried eventually, what good is it?
Perhaps in another decade half him I’ll again see,
Perhaps then we could redo what we’d miss’d.

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Take her in the wind

“Take her in the wind” by Esmond Ng 25/02/12 © Copyright

You get not what you want, but want what you can’t.
You hurt the shes whom heart you,
Yet are hurt by she you gave yours to.
Wouldn’t it just a mystery be, if Life kindly treats,
Us for once what we would like be treat.
What’s gone is best perhaps left in the wind,
For thoughts that return within carry its chills, its pins.
And with each whispering rustle kiss,
It cuts bone deep, really so deep.

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God works in mysterious ways

“God works in mysterious ways when you allow Him into our lives. Earlier today I was pummeled by terrible bolts of mood-swings, those sudden moments where all one’s worst recollections congregate in an unannounced cacophony. Perhaps, it’s not something that an uninitiated could readily empathize. To prune, imagine depression in intermittent espresso shots. Just when I felt that it was going to be another dingy day, God squeezed a beaming smile from within me. I was dragging my disparaged spirit back towards office after lunch when I noticed a pram’d Caucasian boy of three thereabouts setting his eyes intently on me. The instant I drew up alongside him, he let out the cutest chuckle ever while waving his bitty hands up at me! His eyes lit up, resembling sparkles on a new year’s eve night. It was like he knew me. It was like God smiling at me through this little darling, reassuring me that He’s got me and everything is alright. I smiled wholeheartedly.” ~ Esmond Ng 11/01/12

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The Rainbow Forest

“The Rainbow Forest” by Esmond Ng 01/01/12 © Copyright

So I’ve been told, a forest of Rainbows.
One of which to canter through, outstretched,
My arms would I its colored branches catch?
And perhaps its palette tinct would all my lows.
Or would I choose instead to amble,
Perceive each seven as if deliberate in order?
Feel every warmth of every hue with my eyes shut gently,
My head slowly, circularly rolls, onto my back, resting.
I may not know where I at within,
This forest but would I care at all this place in, better.
For I can smile at here the indelible memories,
Perchance its cast of blushes would in future bring me more.

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Thinking of You

“In-between those hustles in Life, I sometimes afford a snap of idle rumination, where things around me would slow, gradually, to a crawl, and just before anchoring to that irreversible still, I see. I see clearly what has passed, as if it were flashing in front of the now moored inactivity. Not I one who perfect-bethinks of my battered past, but more of an inability to remove myself from my aggrieved. When only in such allayed mood would I lose control and regret that breather of initially. What have I done or did not possibly? That time actually kills me, ironically, muffled from its chase, however impossible by this inasmuch logic. It is in such that while quietly wasting away, I think of you. That my disconnecting moments, they belong to you. And I realize, not least bewildered, that it is all I do these days. Then I wait. I wait for time to flinch again.”
~ © Esmond Ng 22/12/11

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Merry Christmas

“Merry Christmas” by Esmond Ng 15/12/11 © Copyright

It’s been an awful long time since last engaged we,
But that doesn’t mean our friendship to any less.
Still remember I thee as that lovely girl I first eyed,
Oh what joy, youthful infatuations from my past.

Thank you for creating that pivotal point in my Life,
And a juncture that I visit every now every then.
Say so today as I would have back then,
Ay, thy cherry lips and skin fair as palely ice.

Nae man can tether time or tide,
All’s gone are but memories which I treasure hold tight.
Irrevocably, my days more colored for met I you,
So fate and fortune decreed I met thee in my time.

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