Never will I leave u; never will I forsake u.

This passage brought a tear (or maybe a few more) while I was reading it on the bus last Friday. Excerpt from Adam Hamilton’s “Why?”:

This last Christmas our church delivered Christmas baskets to all of our worshipers who are currently unemployed. Each of our pastors and a number of our laypeople committed to deliver baskets. On Sunday after our 10:45 A.M. service, I sat down at m desk and began calling the list of persons I was delivering to. The first call was to a woman name “Carrie.” When she answered I said, “Carrie, this is Pastor Adam Hamilton from the Church of the Resurrection, and I was wondering if I could stop by to drop off a Christmas gift basket from the church. It is a small reminder that God has not forgotten you, and that God loves you. Would it be okay if I stopped by this afternoon to drop the basket off for you?” There was silence on the other end of the phone, and then I heard Carrie begin to cry.

I sought to console her, and after a few minutes, she pulled herself together, thanked me, and said she’d love for me to stop by. An hour later I stopped by her apartment. I presented her the basket, gave her a hug, and told her once again that my visit was a small reminder of God’s continued love for her. She said, “Can I tell you why I was crying when you called earlier?” She had a piece of paper in her hand. She said, “I was so discouraged this morning I could not even bring myself to go to church. I watched the service online today. As the service was ending I wrote this prayer,

Where and why? These are my questions. I looked around and see the ugly afteraffects of what God has given us. I am not blaming God, but I am asking, Where are you? I need you! I need help! And no matter how hard I try, I am not getting better. I say your will be done, but it is so hard. I’m not Jesus. I am so weak. I need a break. I need love, I need you Lord. Please, wrap your arms around me and give me your peace. Give me your strength, give me your hope. Let me want to believe and not fear.

She continued, “I had just finished writing this prayer asking for God to show me he still loved me and to wrap his arms around me when the phone rang. I was astounded when I heard your voice on the other end of the line! And then, the first words out of your mouth were ‘I’m calling to bring a gift from the church – a sign that God loves you and has not forgotten you.’ I was speechless; I have never had a prayer answered so quickly before.” I did not know I was answering her prayer. I was just dropping off a Christmas basket. But God had something more in mind.

I had the opportunity to be a messenger of God, Carrie found strength and encouragement, and I was blessed. We can’t always see God’s mysterious ways of working. We can’t always see what God is up to or how many people God prompts before finally someone says yes. But I believe God is constantly working like this. The task for us is to make ourselves available to God each day and to pay attention. By doing this we become the hands and voice of God for others and in this way God answers prayer and works in our world.

To: Whoever may be reading this,
Perhaps me re-posting this excerpt after it touched me is God’s way of using me to tell you that God has not forotten you and that He loves you very much. “Never will I leave u; never will I forsake u.”

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God works in mysterious ways

“God works in mysterious ways when you allow Him into our lives. Earlier today I was pummeled by terrible bolts of mood-swings, those sudden moments where all one’s worst recollections congregate in an unannounced cacophony. Perhaps, it’s not something that an uninitiated could readily empathize. To prune, imagine depression in intermittent espresso shots. Just when I felt that it was going to be another dingy day, God squeezed a beaming smile from within me. I was dragging my disparaged spirit back towards office after lunch when I noticed a pram’d Caucasian boy of three thereabouts setting his eyes intently on me. The instant I drew up alongside him, he let out the cutest chuckle ever while waving his bitty hands up at me! His eyes lit up, resembling sparkles on a new year’s eve night. It was like he knew me. It was like God smiling at me through this little darling, reassuring me that He’s got me and everything is alright. I smiled wholeheartedly.” ~ Esmond Ng 11/01/12

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God’s Miracles

I grew up in a Christian family and did all the things other Christian kids did. Going to sunday school, joining youth fellowships and trusting God as my Lord and Saviour. Although I was “born” into a Christian family, I genuinely knew for myself that God was real in my life. I ended up getting very involved in the youth worships; playing the guitar and occasionally leading it. Everything seemed to be heading in the right direction. God blessed me tremendously. I did very well in school; getting scholarships, book prizes and the lot. I never had any major catastrophes to deal with. So basically life was all good.

Well in any story, there has got be some twist and turns right? At some point in time my “perfect” family started to crumble. Sparing the details, my sheltered existence took one of the biggest downturns I had ever been accosted with. I started to blame God for everything bad that happened even though I knew he had an infallible plan for us all. Despite that, blaming someone else was always the easiest option. I simply chose to not see his faithfulness carrying me through.

I wanted more than just contend to know that God was there. Becoming defiant, I conveniently turned my back to him. I wanted my own “Miracle” to prove that God still loved me. I would often say: “If you are omnipotent and all knowing, show me a sign. Show me that you are real to me.”

From then on, things got really bad. I dropped out of church and indulged in almost everything unholy and corrupt. To be honest, I haven’t really fully recovered until this day. Although I knew deep down that God was always watching me and keeping me safe, I elected to ignore all the little rainbows he sent to me. So there I was, continuing with my new-found “freedom” and uninhibited lifestyle.

I guess everything has a threshold. As a balloon can only stretch that much, a person can only tolerate so much pain. My breakdown point was really Jero. (in a few posts prior) He is such a darling to me that I really didn’t have the strength to envisage the possibility of loosing him so soon. In desperation, I could only think of God to turn to. He was the only One that I could really confide in and pour everything that hurt me all these years. In all candor, it felt really good. It felt like all the weight that had burdened me all this time was suddenly lifted.

All this desolate while, my oasis was right in front of me. I had just blatantly brushed it off as a mirage; turning a blind eye to it. I had my “Miracle” all along. It just took Jero to show it to me.

No, the miracle wasn’t Jero’s recovery. It is God’s steadfast love and endless mercy for me. It is God’s undying affection for a wayward child like me. He is the alpha and the omega that I just didn’t want to see. He did not promise life to be a bed of roses. But he did promise that he’ll be there to carry us all through. Amen.

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My Haircut

I once read this on my brothers blog:

A man walked in to the hairdressers to get his hair cut. After the cut he commented: Thats a very nice cut! He paid and left. Before leaving the barber said: Of course, Im a good barber. On his way out, the customer saw a dirty beggar by the street with long unkempt hair. He immediately turned back into the saloon and told the barber: You are not a good barber. If you were, the man outside would have his hair cut! The barber replied: Oh yes, Im a good barber. If the man comes to me, Id definitely have cut his hair. Similarly, its not that God does not exist. But rather, only people who dont go to Him.

Source: Unknown

I need my haircut soon.

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My Father who carryeth me

“My Father who carryeth me” – by Esmond Ng 21/04/05 © copyright

Dear Lord,

Oh how I’ve forsaken Thee.
For the last ten years, I thought Thee has too left me.
I do realize that answers may “No” sometimes be,
But never did I accept your decisions for me.
Oh how bad it was without Thee.
My life plagued like pagan Egypt,
How suffered I the ten years without ease,
Never felt ever that You be my peace.

Awakened this night all so suddenly,
Realized the pair of footprints be Thee that carryeth me.
Thank you for never letting go of this wayward sheep,
For everything, Thee has provided abundantly.
The two most important weeks to me you gave,
Of my life; others, most will never even glimpse.
I appreciate my Moulder and Father above,
Really Thee has been good to me.

Amen.

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See The Miracles

SEE THE MIRACLES

The man whispered. “God, speak to me.”
And a bird sang.
But the man did not hear.
So the man yelled, “God, speak to me.”
And the thunder rolled across the sky.
But the man did not listen.
The man looked around and said, “God, let me see you.”
And a star shined brightly.
But the man did not see.
And, the man shouted, “God show me a miracle.”
And a life was born.
But the man did not notice.
So the man cried out in despair, “Touch me God, and let me know you are here.”
Then, God reached down and touched the man. But the man brushed the butterfly away and walked on.

Source: Unknown

I found this to be a great reminder that God is always around us in the little and simple things that we take for granted.

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